Rachelle Hampton

Yeah, someone needs to illegally livestream the show.

It's true. Mal and Nicole breathe a sigh of relief as soon as they're past the city limits of Tumbleweed Springs. About 40 minutes out, they even relax enough to put on rumors, even though Indigo low-key had strong wannabe Stevie Nicks vibes. They're about two hours out of town when a police car appears behind them. And it just stays behind them, not passing them.

It's true. Mal and Nicole breathe a sigh of relief as soon as they're past the city limits of Tumbleweed Springs. About 40 minutes out, they even relax enough to put on rumors, even though Indigo low-key had strong wannabe Stevie Nicks vibes. They're about two hours out of town when a police car appears behind them. And it just stays behind them, not passing them.

They're on an empty little two-lane highway, no buildings or houses around for miles. They left early enough that the sun is just now peeking over the horizon, so it's still a little dark. Nicole, who's driving, instinctively puts her hands at 10 and 2. Madeline turns down, go your own way. After a few miles of this, the cop car turns its lights on and signals for them to pull over.

They're on an empty little two-lane highway, no buildings or houses around for miles. They left early enough that the sun is just now peeking over the horizon, so it's still a little dark. Nicole, who's driving, instinctively puts her hands at 10 and 2. Madeline turns down, go your own way. After a few miles of this, the cop car turns its lights on and signals for them to pull over.

Nicole and Madame look at each other, panic on both of their faces. They are both absolutely bricking it because they're absolutely certain that this is mysterious thieves doing.

Nicole and Madame look at each other, panic on both of their faces. They are both absolutely bricking it because they're absolutely certain that this is mysterious thieves doing.

They pull over and the officer approaches the car. Madeline and Nicole can't tell what the officer looks like because they're wearing like a 10-gallon hat and aviator shades. It could be a man or a woman. It could be Indigo or Steve or Matt. What do you do? Oh...

They pull over and the officer approaches the car. Madeline and Nicole can't tell what the officer looks like because they're wearing like a 10-gallon hat and aviator shades. It could be a man or a woman. It could be Indigo or Steve or Matt. What do you do? Oh...

So the officer approaches their car, motions for them to roll their window down. Before she can even ask for license and registration, Nicole and Madeline just break.

So the officer approaches their car, motions for them to roll their window down. Before she can even ask for license and registration, Nicole and Madeline just break.

The officer takes off her sunglasses, which is when Nicole and Madeline finally realize that this is a complete stranger. Okay. It doesn't make them feel much less panicked, though. Who knows how many allies Mysterious Steve has? The officer's like, I'm going to need both of you to step out the car.

The officer takes off her sunglasses, which is when Nicole and Madeline finally realize that this is a complete stranger. Okay. It doesn't make them feel much less panicked, though. Who knows how many allies Mysterious Steve has? The officer's like, I'm going to need both of you to step out the car.

Madeline briefly wonders if it's a crime to shit your pants in the presence of an officer. Once both Nicole and Madeline are out of the car, the officer's like, do you know why I pulled you over? And they both shake their heads. And the officer's like, well, your brake lights have been on for the past four miles, but now I need both of you to take a breathalyzer.

Madeline briefly wonders if it's a crime to shit your pants in the presence of an officer. Once both Nicole and Madeline are out of the car, the officer's like, do you know why I pulled you over? And they both shake their heads. And the officer's like, well, your brake lights have been on for the past four miles, but now I need both of you to take a breathalyzer.

Nicole and Madeline look at each other and they're like, brake lights? The officer makes them do a bunch of sobriety tests, like walking in a straight line and standing on one leg because this officer's like a magician. Nicole almost fails the sobriety test because she has a comically bad sense of balance.

Nicole and Madeline look at each other and they're like, brake lights? The officer makes them do a bunch of sobriety tests, like walking in a straight line and standing on one leg because this officer's like a magician. Nicole almost fails the sobriety test because she has a comically bad sense of balance.

But the officer ends up letting them go with the warning to get their brake lights checked. And that's pretty much the end of our story. How are you feeling? Will you ever leave a one-star review ever again?

But the officer ends up letting them go with the warning to get their brake lights checked. And that's pretty much the end of our story. How are you feeling? Will you ever leave a one-star review ever again?

Yeah, real.