Rachelle Hampton

Externally, she says, oh, I didn't realize you didn't like the couch. And Robbie's like, I like the couch just fine, but my parents are really on my ass about it. And Morgan's like, what? Why?

Externally, she says, oh, I didn't realize you didn't like the couch. And Robbie's like, I like the couch just fine, but my parents are really on my ass about it. And Morgan's like, what? Why?

And that's when Robbie reveals that in the final weeks of the last school year, after Morgan had left campus, Kobe had somehow talked Robbie into storing the couch at Robbie's parents' house over the summer since Robbie lived a half hour away from campus. How would you feel if you were Morgan? You finally located your white whale. What do you do? I would be so mad.

And that's when Robbie reveals that in the final weeks of the last school year, after Morgan had left campus, Kobe had somehow talked Robbie into storing the couch at Robbie's parents' house over the summer since Robbie lived a half hour away from campus. How would you feel if you were Morgan? You finally located your white whale. What do you do? I would be so mad.

Morgan also feels crazy. Morgan feels like an idiot because this whole time the couch has been right under her nose. She had never thought to ask Robbie about Kobe because Robbie has spent the last week bitching about Kobe on the editor's listserv. Kobe has not only somehow already missed a deadline, but he's refusing to answer texts.

Morgan also feels crazy. Morgan feels like an idiot because this whole time the couch has been right under her nose. She had never thought to ask Robbie about Kobe because Robbie has spent the last week bitching about Kobe on the editor's listserv. Kobe has not only somehow already missed a deadline, but he's refusing to answer texts.

So Robbie has already had to find someone else to cover the junior girls handball game. Morgan's mind is spinning. She very quickly decides honesty is the best policy. Robbie already seems pissed off, so he seems like an ally. And he's her roommate, so she would have to bring him into any planned couch-stealing activities at some point.

So Robbie has already had to find someone else to cover the junior girls handball game. Morgan's mind is spinning. She very quickly decides honesty is the best policy. Robbie already seems pissed off, so he seems like an ally. And he's her roommate, so she would have to bring him into any planned couch-stealing activities at some point.

So she tells him the whole sordid tale, how Grant had promised her the couch, the dream she had of the couch, had she had chosen their apartment specifically because it was big enough to house the couch, and then how Grant had reneged on his promise before skipping town like a bandit in the night. And now Morgan says, well... Now we have an incredible opportunity.

So she tells him the whole sordid tale, how Grant had promised her the couch, the dream she had of the couch, had she had chosen their apartment specifically because it was big enough to house the couch, and then how Grant had reneged on his promise before skipping town like a bandit in the night. And now Morgan says, well... Now we have an incredible opportunity.

And Robbie's like, but what happens when Kobe wants his couch back? He's gonna get dumped. We all know that's gonna happen. Right. And Morgan's like, that's future Morgan's problem. Correct. Current Morgan wants couch. Correct. And Robbie is like most college age kids and will do literally anything to get his parents off his back. So they devise a heist.

And Robbie's like, but what happens when Kobe wants his couch back? He's gonna get dumped. We all know that's gonna happen. Right. And Morgan's like, that's future Morgan's problem. Correct. Current Morgan wants couch. Correct. And Robbie is like most college age kids and will do literally anything to get his parents off his back. So they devise a heist.

And by heist, I mean they rent a U-Haul and tell Robbie's parents that there's been a little miscommunication at the couch is actually hers and not Kobe's. Do you see any problems with this plan? No. No. Robbie's parents don't give a single fuck. They're planning on buying a new car and want full use of their garage back.

And by heist, I mean they rent a U-Haul and tell Robbie's parents that there's been a little miscommunication at the couch is actually hers and not Kobe's. Do you see any problems with this plan? No. No. Robbie's parents don't give a single fuck. They're planning on buying a new car and want full use of their garage back.

So when Robbie and Morgan pull up in the U-Haul, Robbie's parents send them off with a couch, a six-pack of beer, and $50 in cash so they can get pizza that night. They're like, adios, muchachos, thank you so much. Morgan's just like a little bit nervous when they first get to Robbie's house because she's like, I haven't seen this couch in months. What if it's not as beautiful as I thought it was?

So when Robbie and Morgan pull up in the U-Haul, Robbie's parents send them off with a couch, a six-pack of beer, and $50 in cash so they can get pizza that night. They're like, adios, muchachos, thank you so much. Morgan's just like a little bit nervous when they first get to Robbie's house because she's like, I haven't seen this couch in months. What if it's not as beautiful as I thought it was?

What if Kobe fucked something up when he moved it into storage? What if it's been, I don't know, taken over by termites? But then Robbie pulls the moving blanket off the couch and as soon as she sees it, she knows she had no reason to fear because the couch is still the most perfect shade of ultramarine blue that she has ever seen in her life.

What if Kobe fucked something up when he moved it into storage? What if it's been, I don't know, taken over by termites? But then Robbie pulls the moving blanket off the couch and as soon as she sees it, she knows she had no reason to fear because the couch is still the most perfect shade of ultramarine blue that she has ever seen in her life.

And that night as she's lying on her perfect blue couch under her big picture window with southern exposure full of pizza and beer high on her heist, Morgan thinks life can't get any better than this. How are you feeling so far?

And that night as she's lying on her perfect blue couch under her big picture window with southern exposure full of pizza and beer high on her heist, Morgan thinks life can't get any better than this. How are you feeling so far?