Rachelle Hampton

Okay, so now imagine that, that image that you just had in your head. Yeah. Imagine that with an undeveloped prefrontal cortex. Yeah. So Kobe is Grant's roommate, which is maybe the only reason why anyone still talks to him. He's the newspaper's sports reporter.

And because the school basically has no sports, Kobe has way too much time on his hand, which means his pieces are always 600 words too long. And since it's in print, that still matters.

And because the school basically has no sports, Kobe has way too much time on his hand, which means his pieces are always 600 words too long. And since it's in print, that still matters.

He also does that specific white man in media thing where because he feels so strongly about objectivity and bias, he always has to cover both sides. What that means in practice is that whenever he covers women's sports, he interviews someone who thinks women's sports should be defunded. Oh, boy.

He also does that specific white man in media thing where because he feels so strongly about objectivity and bias, he always has to cover both sides. What that means in practice is that whenever he covers women's sports, he interviews someone who thinks women's sports should be defunded. Oh, boy.

One of his very first op-eds argued that, for clarity's sake, white journalists shouldn't censor themselves when discussing the N-word because there's obviously a different N-word than the one we're all thinking of that it could be confused for. You know? For clarity's sake. What?

One of his very first op-eds argued that, for clarity's sake, white journalists shouldn't censor themselves when discussing the N-word because there's obviously a different N-word than the one we're all thinking of that it could be confused for. You know? For clarity's sake. What?

The outcry over that op-ed is what got Kobe moved on to sports where he can terrorize the campus's minority jock population. And the thing is, Kobe's not just a terror during work hours. How do you think this kind of guy behaves at parties?

The outcry over that op-ed is what got Kobe moved on to sports where he can terrorize the campus's minority jock population. And the thing is, Kobe's not just a terror during work hours. How do you think this kind of guy behaves at parties?

Kobe never contributes anything to the parties, even though he lives with Grant. He always brings random extra people without telling anyone. And no one can leave their four loco around him because he'll just steal it. He's a real four loco fiend. Everyone's waiting for Grant to graduate so they can just stop hanging out with Kobe, including Morgan. Though Morgan has her own reasons.

Kobe never contributes anything to the parties, even though he lives with Grant. He always brings random extra people without telling anyone. And no one can leave their four loco around him because he'll just steal it. He's a real four loco fiend. Everyone's waiting for Grant to graduate so they can just stop hanging out with Kobe, including Morgan. Though Morgan has her own reasons.

You see, in a moment of weakness, she hooked up with Kobe last year.

You see, in a moment of weakness, she hooked up with Kobe last year.

So Morgan had her moment of weakness last year, which is how she found out that at night, Kobe goes up on the elevated train tracks near campus to write really shitty poetry. Once her friends on the newspaper found out that Morgan and Kobe hooked up, they took out an anonymous ad in the lost and found section of the paper that read lost dignity with Morgan's dorm address listed next to.

So Morgan had her moment of weakness last year, which is how she found out that at night, Kobe goes up on the elevated train tracks near campus to write really shitty poetry. Once her friends on the newspaper found out that Morgan and Kobe hooked up, they took out an anonymous ad in the lost and found section of the paper that read lost dignity with Morgan's dorm address listed next to.

This is the beginning. This is the beginning? This is the beginning. So we're at the end of Morgan's sophomore year. And even though Kobe's sports column had come in 200 words too long, without a lead or a kicker or a point at all, really, Morgan is entering the last closed party of the school year on a high.

This is the beginning. This is the beginning? This is the beginning. So we're at the end of Morgan's sophomore year. And even though Kobe's sports column had come in 200 words too long, without a lead or a kicker or a point at all, really, Morgan is entering the last closed party of the school year on a high.

She has, you know, a bright future in the extremely stable digital media industry ahead of her. She's going to get her couch and She'll never have to step foot into Kobe's apartment again. Everything is coming up, Morgan. Do you remember this point in college where it felt like you were kind of like on the cusp of something?

She has, you know, a bright future in the extremely stable digital media industry ahead of her. She's going to get her couch and She'll never have to step foot into Kobe's apartment again. Everything is coming up, Morgan. Do you remember this point in college where it felt like you were kind of like on the cusp of something?

So Morgan's full of hope, which can tend to make you a little bit reckless. Um, so towards the end of this last closed party, she gets a chance to talk to Grant for the first time. Grant has a fellowship of Mother Jones lined up. It's even paid. So she congratulates him. And then she's like, so when should I pick up my couch? And at first, Grant looks confused. And then a little sheepish.