Rachelle Hampton

So she tells him the whole sordid tale, how Grant had promised her the couch, the dream she had of the couch, had she had chosen their apartment specifically because it was big enough to house the couch, and then how Grant had reneged on his promise before skipping town like a bandit in the night. And now Morgan says, well... Now we have an incredible opportunity.

And Robbie's like, but what happens when Kobe wants his couch back? He's gonna get dumped. We all know that's gonna happen. Right. And Morgan's like, that's future Morgan's problem. Correct. Current Morgan wants couch. Correct. And Robbie is like most college age kids and will do literally anything to get his parents off his back. So they devise a heist.

And Robbie's like, but what happens when Kobe wants his couch back? He's gonna get dumped. We all know that's gonna happen. Right. And Morgan's like, that's future Morgan's problem. Correct. Current Morgan wants couch. Correct. And Robbie is like most college age kids and will do literally anything to get his parents off his back. So they devise a heist.

And by heist, I mean they rent a U-Haul and tell Robbie's parents that there's been a little miscommunication at the couch is actually hers and not Kobe's. Do you see any problems with this plan? No. No. Robbie's parents don't give a single fuck. They're planning on buying a new car and want full use of their garage back.

And by heist, I mean they rent a U-Haul and tell Robbie's parents that there's been a little miscommunication at the couch is actually hers and not Kobe's. Do you see any problems with this plan? No. No. Robbie's parents don't give a single fuck. They're planning on buying a new car and want full use of their garage back.

So when Robbie and Morgan pull up in the U-Haul, Robbie's parents send them off with a couch, a six-pack of beer, and $50 in cash so they can get pizza that night. They're like, adios, muchachos, thank you so much. Morgan's just like a little bit nervous when they first get to Robbie's house because she's like, I haven't seen this couch in months. What if it's not as beautiful as I thought it was?

So when Robbie and Morgan pull up in the U-Haul, Robbie's parents send them off with a couch, a six-pack of beer, and $50 in cash so they can get pizza that night. They're like, adios, muchachos, thank you so much. Morgan's just like a little bit nervous when they first get to Robbie's house because she's like, I haven't seen this couch in months. What if it's not as beautiful as I thought it was?

What if Kobe fucked something up when he moved it into storage? What if it's been, I don't know, taken over by termites? But then Robbie pulls the moving blanket off the couch and as soon as she sees it, she knows she had no reason to fear because the couch is still the most perfect shade of ultramarine blue that she has ever seen in her life.

What if Kobe fucked something up when he moved it into storage? What if it's been, I don't know, taken over by termites? But then Robbie pulls the moving blanket off the couch and as soon as she sees it, she knows she had no reason to fear because the couch is still the most perfect shade of ultramarine blue that she has ever seen in her life.

And that night as she's lying on her perfect blue couch under her big picture window with southern exposure full of pizza and beer high on her heist, Morgan thinks life can't get any better than this. How are you feeling so far?

And that night as she's lying on her perfect blue couch under her big picture window with southern exposure full of pizza and beer high on her heist, Morgan thinks life can't get any better than this. How are you feeling so far?

For a whole semester, the couch is completely fine. Morgan's feeling incredible. So incredible that as weeks pass and Kobe never plays, comes by to claim the couch or text Robbie about it, Morgan starts telling people how she came by this couch.

For a whole semester, the couch is completely fine. Morgan's feeling incredible. So incredible that as weeks pass and Kobe never plays, comes by to claim the couch or text Robbie about it, Morgan starts telling people how she came by this couch.

I set the couch on fire.

I set the couch on fire.

And you're right. And the thing is, at first it's just close friends because they notice the couch in her place and they're like, this is such a nice couch. You're not rich. Where'd this come from? And Morgan's like, well. And then suddenly somehow the whole newspaper knows. That she has the couch.

And you're right. And the thing is, at first it's just close friends because they notice the couch in her place and they're like, this is such a nice couch. You're not rich. Where'd this come from? And Morgan's like, well. And then suddenly somehow the whole newspaper knows. That she has the couch.

Yes. You think this is a smart idea? Seems like no.

Yes. You think this is a smart idea? Seems like no.

Morgan might be concerned about this making its way back to Kobe, except no one on the paper has seen Kobe in months. Since he started hooking up with the art girly, he has completely abandoned his role on the newspaper. At one point, Morgan had to send a movie critic to cover the women's water polo tournament. So everyone's pretty peeved at Kobe.