Rachelle Hampton

Morgan might be concerned about this making its way back to Kobe, except no one on the paper has seen Kobe in months. Since he started hooking up with the art girly, he has completely abandoned his role on the newspaper. At one point, Morgan had to send a movie critic to cover the women's water polo tournament. So everyone's pretty peeved at Kobe.

And he seems to know this because he has fully stopped coming to parties. All of that changes, though, at the beginning of the winter semester. Within a few days of returning to campus after winter break, Morgan starts hearing rumors through the grapevine that Kobe got dumped by his girlfriend over Christmas.

And he seems to know this because he has fully stopped coming to parties. All of that changes, though, at the beginning of the winter semester. Within a few days of returning to campus after winter break, Morgan starts hearing rumors through the grapevine that Kobe got dumped by his girlfriend over Christmas.

That is confirmed when one day, Kobe texts Robby without acknowledging any of the many unanswered texts Robby had sent to Kobe over the past semester. Kobe texts, Hey, dude. Hope you had a good break. When can I come pick up my couch? What do you do?

That is confirmed when one day, Kobe texts Robby without acknowledging any of the many unanswered texts Robby had sent to Kobe over the past semester. Kobe texts, Hey, dude. Hope you had a good break. When can I come pick up my couch? What do you do?

Robbie freaks the fuck out. Yeah. He's like, Morgan, what do we do? What do I tell him? And... Morgan, well, Morgan, before anyone had ever heard the phrase gaslight girl boss gatekeep, is ready to do all three. Right. She tells Robbie, pull yourself together. And then she tells him to lie. Remember, she tells him. you're in the right.

Robbie freaks the fuck out. Yeah. He's like, Morgan, what do we do? What do I tell him? And... Morgan, well, Morgan, before anyone had ever heard the phrase gaslight girl boss gatekeep, is ready to do all three. Right. She tells Robbie, pull yourself together. And then she tells him to lie. Remember, she tells him. you're in the right.

That asshole left a whole couch at your parents' house for months without a word or a storage fee. And Robbie's like, right, right. You're right. Uh-huh. And he texts Kobe back like, I don't know, dude. I thought you picked it up from my parents' house months ago. Kobe's like, why would you think that? And Robbie's like, because I asked you to multiple times.

That asshole left a whole couch at your parents' house for months without a word or a storage fee. And Robbie's like, right, right. You're right. Uh-huh. And he texts Kobe back like, I don't know, dude. I thought you picked it up from my parents' house months ago. Kobe's like, why would you think that? And Robbie's like, because I asked you to multiple times.

Three dots appear, and then they disappear, and then they reappear, and they finally disappear for good. Kobe seems to have gotten the message that he did fuck up in this regard. Morgan knows this isn't the last that they'll hear from Kobe. Everyone knows how much she loved that couch last year. If anyone was going to steal it, it would be her.

Three dots appear, and then they disappear, and then they reappear, and they finally disappear for good. Kobe seems to have gotten the message that he did fuck up in this regard. Morgan knows this isn't the last that they'll hear from Kobe. Everyone knows how much she loved that couch last year. If anyone was going to steal it, it would be her.

Morgan is starting to feel an emotion familiar to any blabbermouth, which is regret. She is fairly certain that the people she knows wouldn't tell Kobe, but what if they told someone else who told Kobe?

Morgan is starting to feel an emotion familiar to any blabbermouth, which is regret. She is fairly certain that the people she knows wouldn't tell Kobe, but what if they told someone else who told Kobe?

We're almost at the end of the story. How are you feeling?

We're almost at the end of the story. How are you feeling?

So Morgan starts whipping boats. She calls everyone on the newspaper to ensure their loyalty to her if Kobe comes asking about the couch. She's going conclave mode low key. She's like, I will control the narrative. Which it turns out she was right to do because a few days later, Kobe texts Robbie and Morgan in a group chat like, I know you're keeping something from me.

So Morgan starts whipping boats. She calls everyone on the newspaper to ensure their loyalty to her if Kobe comes asking about the couch. She's going conclave mode low key. She's like, I will control the narrative. Which it turns out she was right to do because a few days later, Kobe texts Robbie and Morgan in a group chat like, I know you're keeping something from me.

Yeah. We never met. Yeah. Robbie is like, I don't know what you're talking about. And Morgan's like, Kobe, we hooked up two years ago. Why are you still obsessed with me?

Yeah. We never met. Yeah. Robbie is like, I don't know what you're talking about. And Morgan's like, Kobe, we hooked up two years ago. Why are you still obsessed with me?

Kobe's like, quit bullshitting me. I know you have the couch. Morgan's like, prove it. And then she instructs Robbie to stop responding. Kobe continues to harangue them. The newspaper receives an anonymous tip about an on-campus couch thief that everyone has a good time laughing about during that week's close, which, by the way, is one of the roughest ones that Morgan has ever seen.