Rachelle Hampton

Kobe's like, quit bullshitting me. I know you have the couch. Morgan's like, prove it. And then she instructs Robbie to stop responding. Kobe continues to harangue them. The newspaper receives an anonymous tip about an on-campus couch thief that everyone has a good time laughing about during that week's close, which, by the way, is one of the roughest ones that Morgan has ever seen.

The freshman reporters still haven't quite nailed the concept of interviewing or semicolons or punctuation in general. It's the kind of close where Morgan and Robbie and the rest of the editors are cracking open Mike's hard lemonade in the newspaper offices before proofreading even begins.

The freshman reporters still haven't quite nailed the concept of interviewing or semicolons or punctuation in general. It's the kind of close where Morgan and Robbie and the rest of the editors are cracking open Mike's hard lemonade in the newspaper offices before proofreading even begins.

And to top it off, the editor-in-chief can't host the close party that week because their parents are in town. So Morgan and Robbie get roped into offering up their apartment at the last minute. So as soon as the paper is shipped, Morgan and Robbie run home to get ready. They started drinking early enough that they're both in great moods by the time the party officially starts.

And to top it off, the editor-in-chief can't host the close party that week because their parents are in town. So Morgan and Robbie get roped into offering up their apartment at the last minute. So as soon as the paper is shipped, Morgan and Robbie run home to get ready. They started drinking early enough that they're both in great moods by the time the party officially starts.

And they're importantly young enough that Mike's hard lemonade doesn't give them an immediate hangover. So by the time it's in a full swing a few hours later, Morgan has basically all but forgotten about the improper punctuation she just had to deal with. And everyone's having a great time. They're all enjoying the big boot couch. Someone brought edibles.

And they're importantly young enough that Mike's hard lemonade doesn't give them an immediate hangover. So by the time it's in a full swing a few hours later, Morgan has basically all but forgotten about the improper punctuation she just had to deal with. And everyone's having a great time. They're all enjoying the big boot couch. Someone brought edibles.

The beer pong game has just reached death match territory. And Morgan's favorite party song, Your Love is My Drug by Kesha, has just come on. And then a hush falls over the room. Just as Kesha is singing, Do I Make Your Heart Beat Like an 808 Drum, into the party walks none other than Kobe, who was very much not invited.

The beer pong game has just reached death match territory. And Morgan's favorite party song, Your Love is My Drug by Kesha, has just come on. And then a hush falls over the room. Just as Kesha is singing, Do I Make Your Heart Beat Like an 808 Drum, into the party walks none other than Kobe, who was very much not invited.

You know, maybe pyromania is calling you in a different life. I think so. But Morgan doesn't. Morgan doesn't even really have a chance to think of what she would do because Kobe immediately just beelines towards her. Shoves a bottle of two buck chuck at her as like a housewarming gift and then says, I fucking knew you had my couch.

You know, maybe pyromania is calling you in a different life. I think so. But Morgan doesn't. Morgan doesn't even really have a chance to think of what she would do because Kobe immediately just beelines towards her. Shoves a bottle of two buck chuck at her as like a housewarming gift and then says, I fucking knew you had my couch.

Morgan starts like sputtering out a sentence that's halfway between I don't know what you're talking about and what are you doing here? But before she can get a fully coherent sentence out, Kobe storms across the apartment, through the living room with the big picture window with Southern exposure, right past the big blue couch, and right into Morgan's bedroom. What?

Morgan starts like sputtering out a sentence that's halfway between I don't know what you're talking about and what are you doing here? But before she can get a fully coherent sentence out, Kobe storms across the apartment, through the living room with the big picture window with Southern exposure, right past the big blue couch, and right into Morgan's bedroom. What?

So one thing I forgot to mention about Morgan Robbie's apartment is that Morgan has not just one couch, but two couches. She has a little floral padded love seat in a corner of her room. And Morgan has had this since she was a child.

So one thing I forgot to mention about Morgan Robbie's apartment is that Morgan has not just one couch, but two couches. She has a little floral padded love seat in a corner of her room. And Morgan has had this since she was a child.

So when she sees Kobe pointing at her love seat with this smug expression of triumph on his face, it takes a moment for her to comprehend what exactly is going on here.

So when she sees Kobe pointing at her love seat with this smug expression of triumph on his face, it takes a moment for her to comprehend what exactly is going on here.

And what exactly is happening is Kobe making a fool of himself because despite how adamant he was about the return of his couch, Kobe clearly has no idea what the couch that he owns looked like, despite it being in his living room for a whole school year.

And what exactly is happening is Kobe making a fool of himself because despite how adamant he was about the return of his couch, Kobe clearly has no idea what the couch that he owns looked like, despite it being in his living room for a whole school year.

Morgan starts laughing so loudly that everyone at the party who had been pretending not to watch this scene turns around and fully stops pretending to not watch this scene. And through laughter, Morgan's like, Kobe, you're an idiot. And Kobe's like, and you're a thief. That's my couch. Morgan's like, I've had this love seat since I was a child. You can check the bottom of the cushion.