Raina Cohen

They would do, they had these like

basically like holidays that they made together and like artwork that they would make.

I mean, it was very elaborate.

And she just felt that adult friendship was not doing it for her because like everything felt so stale and just like you're having a conversation over dinner.

And it was just so different from what it was like in childhood for her.

I've seen people navigate this, and I think the one thing that I would encourage people to ask themselves is, what is driving me toward the romantic version of this relationship?

I have seen cases where friends are extremely close, and one of them is like...

Well, like, I love you, so this should be a romantic relationship, right?

Like, that is the highest expression of what love for another person looks like.

And I have seen friendships absolutely dissolve over that because somebody can't put up with the possibility of, you know, being rejected romantically.

Is the desire for a romantic relationship because you actually want to be in a romantic relationship with this person or because...

There's an idea that friendship is lesser and therefore the way to fast track closeness is to be romantically involved with somebody.

There are different forms of attraction and romantic and sexual attraction are not the only kinds.

Like you can be really drawn to somebody.

There are studies on like a lot of people have experienced forms of attraction that have nothing to do with sexual desire.

And so it helps to know that if you are really into somebody, there are different ways for that to be true.

But if you do end up pursuing a romantic relationship, and a lot of romantic relationships come from being friends, I think trying to not feel like there has to be an on-off switch.

That if it turns out that the romantic relationship is not kind of the best way to do things, sort of talk on the front end about how you guys can be open-minded about...

How do you change the terms of the relationship?

Some of the things people most hate is having to imagine bad outcomes.