Ramit Sethi

It would be nice if the person who suggested the date pays.

But I think we spend way too much time focusing on the first date and way too little time thinking about the next 14,625 days.

It's like a couple who's obsessed with the wedding.

Fine, you want a nice wedding, great.

What about the marriage?

Same thing with money.

First date, okay, we can have that conversation, but aren't you more interested in how your partner thinks about money and talks about money?

Are they a cheapskate?

Are they generous?

Are they abundant?

Did they grow up the same or different than you?

That is something we don't talk about.

Meanwhile, we have 5 million YouTube videos on who's gonna pay on the first date.

we are missing the real point.

The point of money in a relationship is not just about the first date.

That's fun for clicks, but it's about, do we see money the same way?

Do we connect?

Are we going to be rowing in the same direction?

Or are you going to be doing that and I'm doing this and we can never get aligned?

I think probably that's true.