Ramit Sethi

You can be a provider, and you can be a nurturer.

You can be a provider, and you can be a helper, a leader.

There's so many different ways.

Often what you'll see with women is discussions about a secret bank account.

Keep a little money aside just in case.

We have to remember that in the U.S.,

many grandmothers were not allowed to open up their own bank accounts.

That happened two generations ago.

And so there has been a rightful message that has been passed down orally

keep a little bit of money aside just in case, whether it be physical abuse, financial abuse, divorce, et cetera.

And I totally respect that message.

I don't think you should have a secret account.

I do think you should have an account that is yours only, but no secrets in a relationship.

That's very small extreme.

The biggest phrase that I get from couples is,

He or she's a spender and I'm a saver.

So it's creating this identity that they're a spender, I'm a saver, or they don't want to talk about money ever.

Why can't I get them to finally sit down with me and get on the same page?

That's a phrase that's tossed around everywhere.

When I ask them, what is getting on the same page?