Ramit Sethi

Men always describe themselves as providers.

Always.

That's what we are taught.

It exists in culture.

The problem is, of course, what happens when they are not the top earner, which is happening increasingly more now.

So when I often ask them, who are you, financially speaking, if you're not a provider?

and they're just stumped.

But there's got to be something more than simply being a provider.

You can be a provider, and you can be a nurturer.

You can be a provider, and you can be a helper, a leader.

There's so many different ways.

Often what you'll see with women is discussions about a secret bank account.

Keep a little money aside just in case.

We have to remember that in the U.S.,

many grandmothers were not allowed to open up their own bank accounts.

That happened two generations ago.

And so there has been a rightful message that has been passed down orally

keep a little bit of money aside just in case, whether it be physical abuse, financial abuse, divorce, et cetera.

And I totally respect that message.

I don't think you should have a secret account.