Most Replayed Moment: How To Talk About Money With Your Partner! The Mistakes Most Couples Make!
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Why is discussing money important in relationships?
I don't know any founder who started their business because they like doing admin. But whether you like it or not, it's a huge part of running a business successfully. And it's something that can quickly become all-consuming, confusing, and honestly, a real tax because you know it's taking your attention away from the most important work. And that's why our sponsor, Intuit QuickBooks, helps my team streamline a lot of their admin. I asked my team about it, and they said it saves them around 12 hours a month. 78% of Intuit QuickBooks users say it's made running their business significantly easier. And Intuit QuickBooks' new AI agent works with you to streamline all of your workflows. They sync with all of the tools that you currently use.
What are common financial misconceptions couples have?
They automate things that slow the wheel in the process of your business. They look after invoicing payments, financial analysis, all of it in one place. But what is great is that it's not just AI. There's still human support on hand if you need it. Intuit QuickBooks has evolved into a platform that scales with growing businesses. So if you want help getting out of the weeds, out of admin, just search for Intuit QuickBooks now. I had a conversation a couple of days ago, actually, with James Saxton, who's the divorce expert. He's a divorce lawyer by trade, but he knows more about divorce than anybody else.
How does financial avoidance affect relationships?
And he said to me, there's two things which cause people to end up in his office going through a divorce. Number one is cheating, infidelity. And the second thing is money problems in the relationship. So I find it especially sort of pertinent to have this conversation with you about couples' relationship with money. Because clearly one of the things that is most likely to end my relationship, or I guess prevent me getting into one, is this financial avoidance that most of us engage in. You've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of couples about money on your podcast. What have you learned about our relationship with money in relationships from that?
What patterns do couples exhibit regarding spending and saving?
I've learned that 50% of the people I talk to do not know their household income. 90% of the people I talk to who are in debt do not know how much debt they're in. And 100% of the people I talk to in credit card debt also have trouble saying no to their children. Isn't that shocking? Each of those things, 50% do not know how much income they make because most of us are simply living by looking at our checking account and that's it. The debt part kind of makes sense. Why would you want to know how much debt you owe? You don't really want to think about it.
How do gender roles influence financial conversations?
So you ignore those emails and envelopes. And the credit card debt part, that is really interesting. The idea that if you can't say no to spending, so you've racked up a bunch of credit card debt, the same principle applies to saying no to kids debt. For me, when I discover these, I find them absolutely fascinating, but the good news is you can also change these things.
And what's the difference between men and women in terms of spending habits in a relationship, secrecy, avoidance, arguments? Well, let's start with the roles.
Men always describe themselves as providers. Always.
What are the financial red flags in a relationship?
That's what we are taught. It exists in culture. The problem is, of course, what happens when they are not the top earner, which is happening increasingly more now. So when I often ask them, who are you, financially speaking, if you're not a provider? and they're just stumped. But there's got to be something more than simply being a provider. You can be a provider, and you can be a nurturer. You can be a provider, and you can be a helper, a leader.
How can couples improve their financial communication?
There's so many different ways. Often what you'll see with women is discussions about a secret bank account. Keep a little money aside just in case. We have to remember that in the U.S., many grandmothers were not allowed to open up their own bank accounts. That happened two generations ago. And so there has been a rightful message that has been passed down orally keep a little bit of money aside just in case, whether it be physical abuse, financial abuse, divorce, et cetera.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why is discussing money important in relationships?
0:00–0:37
2
What are common financial misconceptions couples have?
0:37–1:13
3
How does financial avoidance affect relationships?
1:13–1:49
4
What patterns do couples exhibit regarding spending and saving?
1:49–2:26
5
How do gender roles influence financial conversations?
2:26–3:04
6
What are the financial red flags in a relationship?
3:04–3:32
7
How can couples improve their financial communication?
3:32–4:08
8
What is the psychological impact of money on relationships?
4:08–28:20
Speakers
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