Ramit Sethi

I want to.

So he would take his credit card out and he would offer to pay.

And she would say, no.

I want you to contribute more to your IRA.

So in many ways, she wanted him to pay.

She wanted to feel taken care of, which is totally reasonable.

But when he offered, she said no.

So this is the kind of thing that I often see, which is I think I want one thing, but when I get that thing, I don't actually want it.

It doesn't make me feel the way I thought it would.

I want to earn 50K more.

I think that'll make me feel safe.

Oh my God, I am earning 50K more.

It doesn't actually change the way I feel.

So I worked with this couple and I helped them understand why they both felt this way about money.

And, you know, from the outside, it's like, this is so irrational.

If you make more, just pay more.

If I were in that situation, et cetera, et cetera.

None of that stuff matters.

When you are in the couple in that relationship, you will feel a certain way.

And we got to work with you individually, not what everybody else says.