Rhys James

When I tell you about it, sexually control yourself.

Don't do that for my benefit.

I'd love to see it.

When I tell you, please don't throw yourself at us because, you know, wet floor sign.

Listen, so I would have, Edinburgh, we'd go to Edinburgh, every comedian, you go to Edinburgh Fringe for the summer.

And some of the houses were, you know, sort of terraced, big old, you'd love them, sort of old Edwardian, Victorian Edinburgh houses with floor, wooden floors.

and you would walk around barefooted for the day and by the end of the day you'd just have a look at the bottom of your foot and it was fucking scruffy like a fucking chimney sweep so I would have by the side of my bed whatever you would have towels I'd have a hand towel on the floor and I would just use it like a doormat I would wipe my feet like a little dog you know when a dog's having a shit and it like scrapes it wipe your feet because then I'd have to walk back through I think they've solved this I think inventors have solved this issue it's called socks

yeah when you said the phrase and you'd walk around barefoot all day I was like well I'll stop you there yeah no you wouldn't who's doing that in Scotland in Scotland walking around barefoot all day on a wooden floor in a student house in Scotland yeah yeah okay yeah so yes yes I did I used to have my little mat at the side of the bed and I would wipe it yeah yeah and I remember I think Jimmy McGee saw a comedian friend of mine Jimmy McGee saw that and told told everyone

I might have been bragging about it.

That's happened quite a lot in my life.

That's rough.

A mate of mine caught scabies off a sofa in a student house as well.

Yeah, it might have been off the sofa.

Is that how you get it?

So how do you get scabies?

They're just on stuff or things.

Sorry, I'm starting to think.

A scabie's not like the lurkey.

A scabie's a real one.

Have we made that up?