Rick Hanson

then we're more able to care about others.

And then in turn, for many people, the hardest of all is to bring that compassion to themselves.

So I find that that kind of warming up is really helpful.

And then meanwhile, I think it's also really important to bring in the dimension of self-interest.

We have to take care of ourselves too.

Autonomy supports intimacy.

Taking care of ourselves, we're more able to be compassionate toward them.

And so I think that anything we're saying about expanding the circle of us, so forth, does not mean being chumps or something.

And it concludes the capacity to be a fierce advocate, to find an integration of kindness and assertiveness together as we stand up for ourselves.

So that to me is really baked in and it's important to appreciate.

And I think it's also, being personal,

Some years ago, I realized that my anger at other people was a reflection on me.

And you may know that of all the four so-called negative emotions, categorically, loosely, anger, sorrow, fear, and shame, one of the four that's actually rewarding is anger.

mobilization of dopamine or epinephrine in the brain.

There's a Buddhist proverb that describes anger with its honey tip and poison bar.

You know, we just love it.

We love getting righteous.

You didn't know the righteous mind.

But anyway, the tendency toward righteousness.

So we have to really be aware of the appeals of all of that and to reframe that if we let hatred