Rickey Smiley

And like a year later, it really hit me.

The only difference between when my son died a year later, you don't have no casket, no flowers, no obituaries, and no condolences.

And you are stuck.

by yourself just you in the house by yourself just you having to relive it all over again so yeah you better you better go get some help because that's like running into a brick wall yeah because what is my life now yeah

You know, like in the blink of a second, your life changed.

So it's horrible.

It is.

Yeah, you literally on stage doing comedy, performing while you crying on the inside.

I remember I performed at the casino right outside of Cleveland.

I had did a comedy show there after Brandon died.

I think that was my first time going on stage.

Man, I cried from downtown Cleveland all the way to the casino.

And I know that driver had to be uncomfortable.

And I mean, I was booing.

The driver was, I could tell he wanted to ask what was wrong, but he was in between there to say, I might not want to bother him.

And I sat in the car and cried, went in the dressing room and cried some more and cried all the way up until they was introducing me to go on stage.

Blew my nose.

I'm pretty sure nothing was in my nose and got myself together and went on stage and killed him.

Yeah.

Healed them while hard broken on the inside.