Robert J. Coplan

They would feel stressed, they'd feel anxious, they'd feel angry, and they just wouldn't know why.

And when we did some experiments and we did some research on it,

It turns out that feeling like you're not getting enough time alone can lead to exactly those feelings.

It can make you feel sad.

It can make you feel frustrated.

It can make you feel angry.

And just giving a name to it and raising awareness at least allows for the possibility that people will say, oh, okay, so now I understand why I'm feeling so stressful and maybe I should just close the door and give myself a little bit of extra alone time each day.

You're making a really insightful point because what we're talking about is a satisfaction with a very specific component of our life.

So loneliness is a dissatisfaction with our social lives.

And you said something that's very true.

You can spend a lot of time with people but still feel lonely.

Just imagine going to a party where you don't know a lot of people, you spend the evening standing off to the side watching everybody apparently having a really nice time, having intimate conversations, laughing and sharing inside jokes, and you feel very disconnected from them even though you're right among them, and you might leave feeling even more lonely than when you got there.

You might spend the day at work surrounded by other employees but not have a strong social connection with any of them and leave feeling more lonely than when you got there.

So it's certainly possible to be among people and still sort of feel lonely.

So you can be dissatisfied with that and feel like you're not getting enough good quality time with people.

The same thing works with solitude.

You can be spending some time alone, but it might be time spent when you're having to do chores that you don't want to do.

Or you're being forced into solitude because you've moved to a new place and you haven't made any new friends yet.

Or you might spend your time in solitude worrying and

And, you know, thinking bad thoughts.