Ron Friedman

And that leads us to pull away and act in ways that make us less likable.

So, for example, if you're joining a –

a party and you assume people don't like you, you may be slightly withdrawn or less likely to smile.

But being more extroverted and smiling more actually gets people to like you more.

And so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The second tip I discuss in the book is being really curious.

People love to talk about themselves.

And so the more questions you ask, the more likable you tend to be viewed as.

So I give the tip of think less like a TED speaker and more like a podcast host.

Don't worry so much about impressing others.

Try to be impressed.

And the final thing, and this is taken from the story of Scalia and Ginsburg, who famously diametrically opposed Supreme Court judges who ended up becoming best friends.

How did they become such great friends?

It wasn't because they did trust falls or icebreakers.

It was because they found ways to make each other better.

And that's a real key is find ways to make other people succeed in their role.

In the case of Scalia, he was a grammatical savant and he would improve Ginsburg's writing.

And Ginsburg, in turn, was really good at helping Scalia modulate the tone, the emotional tone of his decisions not to alienate people.

And so in both cases, they made each other better.

Yeah, a lot of times when we think about exercise, we focus on our health.