Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Again, this show airs at 6 a.m., but as Pete Hegseth always says, hey, it's 11 a.m. somewhere. So, Hegseth is losing the president, he's losing the senators, he's losing his coworkers. I mean, does he have anyone left on his side?

What kind of parent-teacher conference are we watching right now? Because the future Secretary of Defense needs his mom to come out and defend him? I thought you were against women in combat roles. And besides, I never saw Donald Rumsfeld be like, hey, I have a warning for the Taliban. Mom, you tell them.

What kind of parent-teacher conference are we watching right now? Because the future Secretary of Defense needs his mom to come out and defend him? I thought you were against women in combat roles. And besides, I never saw Donald Rumsfeld be like, hey, I have a warning for the Taliban. Mom, you tell them.

Now, the reason Pete's mom is part of the story is because a few years ago, during his second divorce, his mom sent him an email where she called him, her own son, a habitual cheater, liar, and abuser of women. But now she's saying, eh, don't worry about it.

Now, the reason Pete's mom is part of the story is because a few years ago, during his second divorce, his mom sent him an email where she called him, her own son, a habitual cheater, liar, and abuser of women. But now she's saying, eh, don't worry about it.

And by the way, seven years ago wasn't ancient history, OK? We still have the same Spider-Man. Overall, things don't look good for Pete Hegseth. But the good news is he has the perfect solution. Because then you have a little bit more champagne, and then your problem goes away. Okay, but thank Buddha. Let's move on to a story that doesn't involve Trump right now.

And by the way, seven years ago wasn't ancient history, OK? We still have the same Spider-Man. Overall, things don't look good for Pete Hegseth. But the good news is he has the perfect solution. Because then you have a little bit more champagne, and then your problem goes away. Okay, but thank Buddha. Let's move on to a story that doesn't involve Trump right now.

Yesterday, out of nowhere, the incredibly unpopular president of South Korea declared martial law. And then a few hours later, after everyone got mad, he was like, hey, you know what? Forget it. That was a stupid idea. How about that Rosé song? How about that? How about that? How about that? How about that?

Yesterday, out of nowhere, the incredibly unpopular president of South Korea declared martial law. And then a few hours later, after everyone got mad, he was like, hey, you know what? Forget it. That was a stupid idea. How about that Rosé song? How about that? How about that? How about that? How about that?

To me, the craziest thing about this whole episode is what happened in South Korea during the few hours of martial law.

To me, the craziest thing about this whole episode is what happened in South Korea during the few hours of martial law.

Holy shit, she knows that's a gun, right? She's She's grabbing it like it's a thing that doesn't shoot bullets. She's like, is this a vacuum cleaner? What's this button do? I want to see it. This wasn't the only time a protester showed up to the military in South Korea. Check out this dude when a soldier tries to take his phone. I know everyone thinks all Asians know martial arts.

Holy shit, she knows that's a gun, right? She's She's grabbing it like it's a thing that doesn't shoot bullets. She's like, is this a vacuum cleaner? What's this button do? I want to see it. This wasn't the only time a protester showed up to the military in South Korea. Check out this dude when a soldier tries to take his phone. I know everyone thinks all Asians know martial arts.

And let me be clear, stereotypes are harmful. But did you see that shit? That dude single-handedly Aikido'd the soldier into surrendering. I mean, that uncle is either really protective of democracy or very concerned about what people are going to see on his phone. By the way, Trump, if you're paying attention, can we get that guy as Secretary of Defense? I mean, his defense is incredible.

And let me be clear, stereotypes are harmful. But did you see that shit? That dude single-handedly Aikido'd the soldier into surrendering. I mean, that uncle is either really protective of democracy or very concerned about what people are going to see on his phone. By the way, Trump, if you're paying attention, can we get that guy as Secretary of Defense? I mean, his defense is incredible.

Josh, Josh, what's going on over there?

Josh, Josh, what's going on over there?

Because I'm the host? No. Because I'm more well-read than you?

Because I'm the host? No. Because I'm more well-read than you?

Joss, I don't expect you to just know what's going on there. We sent you there to do a report, okay? So just do your job and ask around. And what do you think I'm doing? I found an Asian person and I'm asking around right now. That's racist, dude. All right. You're black. So what? I'm supposed to ask you about what's going on in Zimbabwe? Oh, Zimbabwe going through it, Ronnie.