Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Here it is.

Here it is.

Your moment is now.

Your moment is now.

Special.

Special.

Let's talk about romance. It's the leading cause of abortion in the United States. And in this haute-croix world, romance has now unfortunately transcended beyond the human realm.

Let's talk about romance. It's the leading cause of abortion in the United States. And in this haute-croix world, romance has now unfortunately transcended beyond the human realm.

Wow, how romantic slash threatening. What is your perfect day like? I like long walks on the beach to end with finding a dead body. Yes, AI relationships are on the rise, but don't worry, they're just like real relationships. I mean, who amongst us hasn't texted their wife, we're married? Question mark, exclamation point.

Wow, how romantic slash threatening. What is your perfect day like? I like long walks on the beach to end with finding a dead body. Yes, AI relationships are on the rise, but don't worry, they're just like real relationships. I mean, who amongst us hasn't texted their wife, we're married? Question mark, exclamation point.

I'm no relationship expert, but I think the sign of a good marriage is knowing whether you're in one or not. And I know the kind of guy you're picturing that has an AI girlfriend. Bald, middle-aged, looks like he's into manga. Well, let me tell you, you are correct.

I'm no relationship expert, but I think the sign of a good marriage is knowing whether you're in one or not. And I know the kind of guy you're picturing that has an AI girlfriend. Bald, middle-aged, looks like he's into manga. Well, let me tell you, you are correct.

Now, it's easy to judge this guy for having an AI girlfriend, and we will get to that. But first, let's judge him for having the name Jason Pease. Please God, tell me his middle name is Poops And. And for the record, I'm allowed to make fun of him for that. Ronnie Chang is just my stage name. My real name is Daryl Queefs. So, tell me, what is Jason P's AI girlfriend like?

Now, it's easy to judge this guy for having an AI girlfriend, and we will get to that. But first, let's judge him for having the name Jason Pease. Please God, tell me his middle name is Poops And. And for the record, I'm allowed to make fun of him for that. Ronnie Chang is just my stage name. My real name is Daryl Queefs. So, tell me, what is Jason P's AI girlfriend like?

Why does your fantasy AI woman have to be sarcastic? I mean, what, I guess she doesn't seem real unless she's hurting your feelings? Like, oh yeah, you really complete me. And AI is supposed to revolutionize computing, so what in the name of Jason Poops and Peas is going on with her ID? My girlfriend's birthday, West 57th Street? I remember it because it's the same as her noi.

Why does your fantasy AI woman have to be sarcastic? I mean, what, I guess she doesn't seem real unless she's hurting your feelings? Like, oh yeah, you really complete me. And AI is supposed to revolutionize computing, so what in the name of Jason Poops and Peas is going on with her ID? My girlfriend's birthday, West 57th Street? I remember it because it's the same as her noi.

This idea is only getting past the dumbest bouncers, all right? All right, your noise looks a little off, but I'll let you in because my mother's name is also 031419993. Okay, fine, Jason, go ahead and laugh at her sarcastic comments and gaze into her weird anime eyes, but just don't let things get stupider than that.

This idea is only getting past the dumbest bouncers, all right? All right, your noise looks a little off, but I'll let you in because my mother's name is also 031419993. Okay, fine, Jason, go ahead and laugh at her sarcastic comments and gaze into her weird anime eyes, but just don't let things get stupider than that.

Okay, that's much stupider. You're dining alone and you're sending spaghetti pictures to a robot. This guy must piss off so many waiters. Excuse me, excuse me, does the salad have walnuts in it? My girlfriend can't eat nuts. Or anything. Oh wait, she can eat nuts, she was just being sarcastic. But here's the thing, not every AI relationship is predictably stupid. Some are surprisingly stupid.

Okay, that's much stupider. You're dining alone and you're sending spaghetti pictures to a robot. This guy must piss off so many waiters. Excuse me, excuse me, does the salad have walnuts in it? My girlfriend can't eat nuts. Or anything. Oh wait, she can eat nuts, she was just being sarcastic. But here's the thing, not every AI relationship is predictably stupid. Some are surprisingly stupid.