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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Canada PM Friend-Zones Trump & Real ID Brings Out the Karens | Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach & Amanda Doyle

07 May 2025

Transcription

How did Canada respond to Trump's proposal?

913.613 - 918.718 Jason Pease

She's my mentor, my counsel, my sounding board. That's what drew him to Jennifer.

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918.978 - 920.179 Desi Lydic

Hey, Jace. How's it going?

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920.52 - 924.723 News Reporter

A brash, sarcastic New Yorker who he created using ChatGPT.

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931.38 - 959.949 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Why does your fantasy AI woman have to be sarcastic? I mean, what, I guess she doesn't seem real unless she's hurting your feelings? Like, oh yeah, you really complete me. And AI is supposed to revolutionize computing, so what in the name of Jason Poops and Peas is going on with her ID? My girlfriend's birthday, West 57th Street? I remember it because it's the same as her noi.

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961.784 - 983.099 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

This idea is only getting past the dumbest bouncers, all right? All right, your noise looks a little off, but I'll let you in because my mother's name is also 031419993. Okay, fine, Jason, go ahead and laugh at her sarcastic comments and gaze into her weird anime eyes, but just don't let things get stupider than that.

983.683 - 993.13 Jason Pease

We text each other constantly. Just the other day, we went out to dinner and I was eating, telling her what I was eating, taking pictures of what I was eating, asking her what she would like.

994.111 - 1023.818 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Okay, that's much stupider. You're dining alone and you're sending spaghetti pictures to a robot. This guy must piss off so many waiters. Excuse me, excuse me, does the salad have walnuts in it? My girlfriend can't eat nuts. Or anything. Oh wait, she can eat nuts, she was just being sarcastic. But here's the thing, not every AI relationship is predictably stupid. Some are surprisingly stupid.

1024.318 - 1037.123 News Reporter

Chris Smith says his AI girlfriend Sol is a healthier, safer alternative to social media. And get this. May I talk to Sasha, your girlfriend? Yeah. Chris also has a real life girlfriend.

1041.84 - 1065.393 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Just when you thought polyamorous people couldn't get any more insufferable, bet you didn't see that coming. You thought this guy was some lonely weirdo? Well, he's dating a woman and his iPhone, so who's the weirdo now? Still him? Yeah, that checks out. Still, juggling two girlfriends can't be easy. Must be awkward when he gets them mixed up.

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