Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)
speaker
1,179 appearances
40 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Look, Trevor, I understand how hundreds of years of institutionalized racism might make black people a little sensitive to this kind of thing, right? But obviously, this was just an unfortunate coincidence, okay? Chinese people have no beef with black people, right?
Look, I know Black History Month is really important to you guys, but we started naming years after animals like 5,000 years ago, right? It's a set pattern, okay? Every year is a different animal. Like I'm an ox, you're an ugly rat, cameraman's a fat pig. Okay, we can't change that. Okay, it's just science.
Like, do you really think back in ancient China when they were like drawing up the lunar calendar, some old Chinese guy with a long white beard was like, oh, oh ha ha ha, oh ha ha ha, oh, oh, you know what would be funnier? If someday there was a sports league of mostly black people and we gave out monkey T-shirts. No, that never happened.
And by the way, not every Chinese person talks like that, okay? That's racist. Yeah, but you were the one doing the- No, think about it, Trevor. Who was actually offended by this? Like, one guy. One guy. DeMarcus Cousins. We're really gonna listen to DeMarcus Cousins? Really? That's the guy? That's the guy. This guy. He's been a leader in technical files for, like, five seasons in a row now.
It's the biggest cry baby in the NBA. Oh, that guy fouled me. Oh, I hate my coach. That t-shirt hurts my feelings. Blah, blah, blah. You know what should hurt your feelings, DeMarcus? Your team being in 10th place in their conference, all right? Now look, if Steph Curry complains about a monkey t-shirt, look, that's a conversation, all right? Wow, wow, Ronnie. I'm shocked right now.
You know a lot about basketball, man. What are you talking about? Of course we know about basketball. Chinese people love basketball. That's like a million Chinese basketball fans, and not to mention countless NBA players of Chinese descent.
Countless players, Trevor. Okay, look, the Year of the Monkey happens every 12 years, okay? So we need to fix this right now, or this is just gonna keep on offending people, okay? And we can't move Chinese New Year because it's based on the moon, okay? There's nothing we can do about it. So, I suggest you guys just move Black History Month. What? No, no, no. Whoa, Ronnie.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, we can't just move Black History Month. Sure you can. Why do you want February anyway? It's like the coldest and shortest month. Yeah, sometimes it's missing a day. It's like a bad month. Look, I can't believe you guys were suckered into taking February in the first place, all right? Why don't you take something like May?
It's got 31 days and there's no monkey-based holidays, all right? It's beautiful. You know, Ronnie, I see your suggestion, but I wouldn't count on that happening. Look, Trevor, all I'm saying is black people, listen, we're all on the same team here, okay? We're not your enemy. We've already proved we can work well together in rush hour, remember? Yeah, that's right.
Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan kicked ass, conformed to racial stereotypes, and respected each other's holidays. Ronnie, don't you ever touch a black man's holiday. Trevor, we're not trying to touch your holiday, okay? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Oh, nice, nice. That's Rush Hour. That's what we did. It was Rush Hour. Oh, yeah, that's right. It is from Rush Hour.
I didn't even realize. See? It's bringing us together already. Oh, it really is. That feels good. Thank you so much.
That's right, people. We've got our own month. And in honor of AAPI Month, I'm gonna teach you about the most underrepresented demographic of all time, Asian Americans in sports. And I don't just mean the heavy hitters, like Jeremy Lin, Michelle Kwan, Tiger Woods. Yeah, we're claiming him. You got a problem with that? Take it up with the UN.
Instead, I want to focus on the underdogs who blazed the trail for all the other Asian American athletes to come. People like Wally Yonamine, the Japanese-American who played not one, but two professional sports. And unlike Michael Jordan, he didn't suck at one of them. Also, he never became a crying meme. Why are you sad? You're Michael Jordan.
First, in 1947, Yonamine became a running back for the San Francisco 49ers. But in the wake of World War II, he faced a ton of discrimination, even while he was playing. When he would get tackled, the opposing team would punch and kick him. Do you realize how insane that is? I mean, it's football. Everyone's going home with brain damage already. You don't need to force it.
After a wrist injury in 1951, Yonamine decided to switch to baseball. He moved to Japan to play for the Yomiuri Giants, where he was an 11-time All-Star and became the first American player ever to be inducted into the Japanese Baseball Hall of Fame. Crazy thing is, Yonamine faced racism in Japan too, but this time because he was American. At games, the fans would chant, Yankee, go home!
Which is normally something you expect to hear only at Red Sox games. or, honestly, any place in Boston that serves alcohol. But enough about baseball. Let's talk about something people actually watch, the Olympics. In 1948, Victoria Manalo-Drez became the first AAPI Olympic champion. But being Filipino, she also faced a lot of discrimination.
In fact, when she was younger and she used a public pool, the town assholes would drain the water after she swam in it, which isn't just racist, it's idiotic. You're gonna double your water bill just because you're afraid of catching being Asian? You can't even get that from a pool. You have to share the same straw, dumbasses.
But against the odds, Manalo won her gold medal in the women's three-meter springboard, and she was cheered on by diver Sami Lee, the first Asian-American man to win an Olympic gold medal. That's right, the first two AAPI gold medals at the same games. It was like Asian Christmas, which is just Christmas. But not every Asian who broke the color barrier had a happy ending.
In 1948, Larry Kwong became the first non-white player in the NHL when he joined the New York Rangers. But they only put him on ice for a minute, and he never played in another game again, which sucks. But breaking the color barrier is like losing your virginity. Even if you only did it for a second, it still counts.
Another great first happened in 1927 when Walter R. Chu became the first person of East Asian descent to play in the NFL. Because his last name was R. Chu, he earned the nickname Sneeze. Sadly, this was before athlete sponsorships were a thing, so he couldn't even get that sweet, sweet Kleenex money. Eventually, he retired from the NFL to compete in a safer sport.
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