The Daily Show: Ears Edition
RFK Jr. Sparks Outrage Over Autism Remarks & Elon Musk Slides Into DMs and Wombs | Nancy Kwan
Fri, 18 Apr 2025
Ronny Chieng covers Elon Musk’s mission to have babies over DM, Pete Hegseth’s Air Force diversity purge, RFK Jr.’s anti-vaccine coded attack on autism, and proof he has never seen "Love on the Spectrum." Michael Kosta & Ronny Chieng go head to head over Rory McIlroy’s Masters Tournament takeover, brand-new Barbie Lebron James, Bryce Harper’s on-field gender reveal, and Baltimore's oyster rebrand. Hollywood icon Nancy Kwan sits down to discuss her trailblazing career and new book, "The World of Nancy Kwan: A Memoir by Hollywood's Asian Superstar." They talk about an accidental screen test that brought her to Hollywood, a friendship with Bruce Lee that began in Hong Kong, and Kwan offers her perspective on what the West can learn from the East.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What controversial statements did RFK Jr. make about autism?
I have a teenage dream that she shut the up. So, unsurprisingly, RFK Jr. brought his anti-vax policies to the administration. And yesterday, he gave a speech about autism, and people are pissed.
Comments from Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. that are raising eyebrows. During his first news conference as the nation's top health official, he addressed rising autism rates while calling the disease preventable.
RFK Jr. 's bleak description of people living with autism causing outrage. Autism destroys families. These are kids who will never pay taxes.
Wait, that... That's what you're gonna lead with? That's the big tragedy for you? These poor kids will never know the joy of attaching a Schedule K to a 1048. It's not even accurate. I mean, autistic people do pay taxes. Are you thinking of art history majors? But, I mean... Please give us more of your expert opinions about what autistic people can and can't do.
They'll never hold a job. They'll never play baseball. They'll never write a poem. They'll never go out on a date.
What do you mean they don't date? I mean, does the candy compound not have Netflix? Okay, because David took Abby on a safari to Africa. And yeah, could Connor be a little more open-minded about dating blondes? Sure, but couldn't we all? I mean, everything this guy said is ridiculous. Autistic kids will never write poems? Well, who wants kids to write more poems?
That's something we should be preventing. So it's no wonder why people are pissed at him. Most autistic people can do all that stuff. And even the ones who can are still human beings. Who even made RFK the judge of what makes life worth living? I'm sorry, they'll never know the joy of planting bear carcasses in Central Park or holding 85% of the world's mucus in their throats. But whatever.
This is a huge project he's taking on. I mean, Lem spent the next two decades trying to figure it out.
By September, we will know what has caused the autism epidemic and we'll be able to eliminate those exposures.
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Chapter 2: How is Elon Musk's unconventional dating approach portrayed?
And hey, sports fans, we've got all your favorite films from the gridiron and the court, like White Men Can Jump the Best, Remember That One Titan, and Cool Runnings, the inspiring true story of an Olympic bobsled with no one in it. And of course, who can forget Disney's Encanto? You can. It doesn't exist anymore. Get your favorite Trump-approved movies from the white-tearing collection today.
And act now, because watching the originals will soon be considered domestic terrorism. When we come back, we'll fight about sports, so don't go away.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics drools and sports rules. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.
Get ready for battle. It's time for sports war. Brought to you by Gambit. Gambit, now with better odds than the stock market.
What's up, ball sacks? I'm Ronnie Chan. And I'm Michael Kosta. This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other. For example, if I say UFC needs to be more violent... Oh, well, then I say fighters need to settle their differences peacefully with a licensed therapist. Yeah, well, I'd like to introduce you to my two therapists, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.
Oh, yeah? Well, I should go to therapy, seeing as how I'm obsessed with your mom.
Yeah. Yeah, man, exactly. You need to explore those feelings with a licensed medical professional. I'll send you some names. Hey, let's talk golf, okay? Short game, amateur, handicap, ball washer. These aren't just Ronnie's nicknames. They're golf terms. And this week was a historic one on the Lynx.
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Chapter 3: What actions has Pete Hegseth taken regarding military diversity and book purges?
Tonight, Rory McIlroy is now one of only six golfers to win all four major golf championships, winning the Masters for the first time.
The kid who grew up in Northern Ireland. Overcome with emotion, winning his first green jacket 11 years after winning his last major championship.
Wow, congrats to Rory McIlroy. It took him 11 years to get a new green blazer. And as someone currently serving a 20-year ban from the men's warehouse, I can totally relate.
This is totally different, you idiot. Rory was trying to accomplish one of the hardest things in all of sports. You just took a dump in a fitting room.
Well, but they guaranteed I was gonna like the way I looked. And breaking a verbal contract has consequences. The point is, I'm happy for Rory McIlroy. Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm not, okay? I don't want to see him happy. Everyone knows that Irish people are at their best when they're depressed. Haven't you ever read James Joyce?
Hell no, I'm a Frank McCourt man. Well, he's Irish-American, dumbass. Check your stats, bro. McCourt was raised in the slums of Limerick, and he spoke to the soul of Irish suffering like no man since William Butler Yeats, dumbass. Which brings to our eyes, Irish Eyes, Bed of the Night. What will make Roy McIlroy cry in public next? As always, brought to you by gambling.
Gambling, the only thing you're really addicted to is having a good time.
Moving on, the NBA playoffs start Saturday. But if you're a little girl with a big imagination like Costa, you also have a reason to be excited.
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Chapter 4: What is the new White House streaming service and its cultural impact?
Wrong again, boy toy. I happen to love LaBarbie. He has every... He has what every little girl wants in a doll. Pride for the city of Akron. Now, they can play until their heart's content with a middle-aged man dressed like a 14-year-old. No notes. They should expand this to other NBA legends like Dennis Rodman, the worm, the first doll in Barbie history with a pierceable scrotum.
Or my favorite, my favorite from childhood, Will Chamberlain. There are hundreds of different Barbies and he can have sex with all of them.
Which brings us to our extremely random endorsement deal, Better the Week, presented by Joanne Fabrics. Which athlete will sign the next extremely random endorsement deal? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. They're doing amazing things with wheelchairs now.
Look, let's go to the diamond. Baseball's a sport where you have to know your signs, right? Curveball. Pitching change. I'll take four beers. No tip. But this week, Bryce Harper took that to the next level.
Philadelphia Phillies slugger Bryce Harper is about to take another swing at fatherhood. And he got creative with the baby's gender reveal during last night's game.
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Chapter 5: What are the highlights and debates in recent sports news?
Harper asked shortstop Trey Turner to hand him either a blue or a pink bat before he went up to hit as a gender reveal. He found out right before stepping up to the plate that he'll be having a baby boy.
This is awesome. Baseball needs more medical tests revealed during games. I want to see a runner slide into home and the umpire yells, you are safe from Tay-Sachs disease.
Costa, you're out of your mind, all right? This is ruining the game. You can't be doing gender reveals at the plate. Gender reveals are supposed to be for a close group of loved ones that you're hoping to injure with explosives.
Ronnie, I got your gender reveal bat right here. Surprise, it's brown since you're a piece of shit.
Well, Costa, for those of us who've had sex, this is a disaster, all right? Baseball is the thing you think about when you're not trying to get someone pregnant. Get your family planning out of my sports, okay? Can we please see a baseball story that has nothing to do with sex?
The Baltimore Orioles AA affiliate, the Chesapeake Bay Sox, decided to unveil an alternative team identity to help them gain traction with new audiences. That included the new alternative name, the Oyster Catchers, along with a brand new logo. This logo, which, at least to many, seems to depict a baseball glove catching an oyster. Others interpreted it a bit differently.
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Chapter 6: How did Rory McIlroy accomplish his historic golf milestone?
The team took the criticisms to heart, deleting their own announcement within minutes. But later, they unveiled a new logo showing a bird holding a bat. Damn it.
I'm never going to be able to slip an oyster off a baseball glove ever again.
And that's the only way I like them. What are you talking about, Ronnie? The oyster logo is great. If anything, the new logo is the one that's perverted. That bird is clearly flying away with some guy's severed penis. And you know what? That poor guy. But those lucky baby birds, what a lunch.
This whole thing just confirms my belief that baseball teams should get rid of logos entirely, okay? If they're not sexualizing oysters, they're pissing off Native Americans. Every team should just name themselves after their city, like the Philadelphia Phillies, the Boston Bostonies, the Cleveland Clevelandies, the Detroit Titties.
Nothing sexual, okay? I disagree, Ron. All team names should be sexual but educational. Sex ed in this country is a joke. But if the Philadelphia Fallopian tubes play the Cleveland Steamers, well, now we're learning. Which brings us to our four-carat diamond bet of the week. What baseball mascot will Ronnie have a wet dream about tonight? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling.
Tons of cultures sleep outside. All right, that's it for Sports War. Join us next time when we debate what act of war Ja Morant should mine for his next celebration. It's got to be hitting the nuclear button, man. You got to hit that button.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. Hey, my guest tonight is a trailblazing Hollywood icon who has written a new book called The World of Nancy Kwan, a memoir by Hollywood's Asian superstar. Please give a very big welcome to the one and only legendary Nancy Kwan. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. Thank you. Yeah, thanks for coming on the show. Hello, everyone. Yes. It's the Hollywood legend.
How are you doing?
I'm doing fine. How are you doing?
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Chapter 7: What is the significance of LeBron James becoming a Barbie doll?
So you speak Cantonese.
I speak Cantonese.
No problem.
Where did you come from?
Yeah.
From Malaysia.
Yeah, yeah. We were discussing how great it is to be in the West. And yeah, so you started in Hong Kong. You born in Hong Kong. You moved then from there. That's kind of where you started acting. And you didn't even start out wanting to be an actor.
No, I wanted to be a ballet dancer. I was going to the Royal Ballet, very serious about being a ballet dancer. I was back in Hong Kong for summer holidays. And they were testing. making screen tests for some of my favorite Chinese actresses for the world of Suzy Wong in Hong Kong. So I went up to the studio to watch my favorite actress at work.
And I was standing there, and somebody says to me, you want to do a screen test? I said, no, I'm a ballet dancer. I have nothing to do with it. I'm just here watching my favorite actresses. They said, why don't you do a screen test? I said, well, what's that? They said, well, just sit in the chair. So I said, okay. So I sat in the chair, and he asked me questions, how old I am.
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Chapter 8: What is Nancy Kwan's story about her Hollywood career and cultural background?
Like, you know, both of us.
Yeah, and that was your first time in America, right? And then you started doing movies in America.
Well, first time, I came in the early 60s, where the studio system was just phasing out.
So this was Hollywood in the 60s in America?
Yes.
And what kind of drugs were they doing back then?
What were you doing?
What was I doing? Oh, I don't do drugs.
Oh, I don't do drugs either.
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