Trump Blasts South Africa for “White Genocide” & Trump Merch Needs a Spell Check | Simon Pegg

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 28 min 6 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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What did Trump say during the South African president's visit?

Simon Pegg 1:42
I mean, you'll never run out of white South Africans when one of them is making 5,000 kids a week. But still, Trump thinks there is one, and you know he cares about it because he said white genocide. It's like someone told him, hey, it's not just a genocide. It's a white genocide, you know, the bad kind. And Trump's like, oh shit, get him in. But don't worry, South African president, there's a way out of this. Cutter got Trump a plane. What sweet, sweet bribe did you bring him?
Unnamed Contributor 2:10
I brought you a really fantastic golf book. Weighs 14 kilograms. And it showcases the golf courses in our country.
Simon Pegg 2:24
Yeah, you that up. You lost Trump at book and you definitely lost him at kilograms. If you really want to impress Trump, you should have given him one of your golf courses. Then Trump would be like, hell yeah. Sorry, white South Africans, if that's even a real thing. Thoughts and prayers. Let's move on from a fake international crisis to a real domestic one. If you bought any Trump merchandise, I don't want to surprise you, but it might be a piece of junk.

Is there really a white genocide happening in South Africa?

Unnamed Contributor 2:56
Trump time. A mistake on a Donald Trump keepsake might be funny to some. But it wasn't a laughing matter for the couple who paid more than $600 for the Trump-branded watch. Get your Trump watch right now. Go to GetTrumpWatches.com. It's Trump time. Melanie Pettit likes the style, but it's what this watch does not have that makes it stand out. I noticed it right away. The T is missing. It just says R-U-N-P.

What went wrong with Trump merchandise?

Unnamed Contributor 3:24
So it should say Trump. Should say Trump. Instead. It says rump.
Simon Pegg 3:30
What a shocking story. I mean, truly, I did not expect them to be able to read. And you might be thinking, what kind of respectable horological craftsman of luxury timepieces would allow this to happen? Well, it turns out watches might just be their side business.
Unnamed Contributor 3:49
new eye-popping details about Donald Trump's watches. And there's a link to Viagra honey. This is a product that is born out of a licensing agreement with a company called the Best Watches on Earth LLC. There is another company at this business registered at the same address called the Best Honey on Earth. They sell male enhancement honey, which is exactly what it sounds like. Stop it, Steve. A product that helps men perform in the bedroom.
Simon Pegg 4:21
Wait, everyone, shut up. Stop laughing. That's boner honey? This changes everything. I mean, I guess this does explain why that honey I bought looks so weird, but, um... You know, Trump's gonna be bathing that like the Baron in Dune, but I... I just hope that those watches have like a little warning label on them like you do for people with nut allergies, like warning. This watch was manufactured in a plant that also processes honey. The point is, when Donald Trump sells you something, you gotta be skeptical. And I'm so glad we all learned our lesson. On an unrelated note, Donald Trump's got something new to sell us.
Unnamed Contributor 5:07
This morning, President Trump revealing his plans for a Golden Dome, a defense system designed to shield the U.S. from missile attacks.

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