TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 26 min 11 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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Why is a march necessary for climate awareness?

Jon Stewart 0:14
Now, you may be thinking, do we really need a march to raise awareness about global climate change? I mean, it's an accepted scientific phenomenon pretty much everywhere. Here's why you need the march. It's accepted pretty much everywhere, but there's one place called the United States House of Representatives Committee on Science, Space, and Technology. This is true.

What happened at the House Committee on Science hearing?

Jon Stewart 0:41
Last week, they held a hearing that they apparently recorded in 1971... I guess that's the technology part of the committee name. On President Obama's plan to shrink carbon emissions 30% by 2030, the hearing's Sisyphus, Presidential Science Advisor John Holdren charged with the impossible task of pushing a million pounds of idiot up a mountain. Of course, like any avalanche, it began rather innocuously. Texas Republican Steve Stockman.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 1:08
The lead scientist at NASA said this. He said that what ended the ice age was global wobbling. Is the wobbling of the Earth included in any of your modelings? And the answer was no. When you have a model and you say we're going to leave out the most important impact of that model out of our theory and not talk about global wobbling, how can you make projections?

What is global wobbling and why is it relevant?

Jon Stewart 1:41
What's up, scientists? Global wobbling, bitches! He sees your so-called global warming and raises you a global wobbling. Explain that, Dr. Whitehouse.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 1:51
Global wobbling, which refers to changes in the Earth's tilt and orbit, takes place on characteristic timescales of 22,000 years, 44,000 years, and 100,000 years. It is very slow. Global wobbling is a tiny effect on the timescale of 100 years in which we try to run these models.
John Oliver 2:14
I didn't know we'd be talking to an actual scientist.
Jon Stewart 2:20
All right, Holdren, you aced the wobble warming. Riddle me this.
Steve Carell 2:24
At what point a level of CO2 does CO2 become damaging? At what level does it become harmful to human beings?
Jon Stewart 2:35
Boom! How can CO2 levels be dangerous when I can still breathe?
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 2:41
Vice Chairman Rohrabacher, I always enjoy my interactions with you.

How does CO2 affect human health?

Jon Stewart 2:49
Much in the way one enjoys playing peek-a-boo with a baby or perhaps teasing a cat with a laser pointer.

What are the risks of ignoring climate data?

Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 2:58
I have to say with respect, that's a red herring. We are not interested in carbon dioxide concentrations because of their direct effect on human health. We're interested in them because of their effect on the world's climate. And climate change has effects on human health.
John Oliver 3:13
Well, then let me ask you again, why can we still breathe? That's what I'm asking. I mean, you can hear me, right? We're breathing.

How is Trump's administration affecting climate change policies?

Jon Stewart 3:21
And it got more amazing as it went. Indiana's Larry Bouchon.
It's not about affecting the global temperature and climate change. There's public comments out there that that question has been asked and answered saying no.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 3:34
You should look at the scientific literature rather than the public comments.
Jon Stewart 3:50
With all due respect, Representative Bouchon, I suggest you get the Journal of Applied Meteorology and Climatology as opposed to the YouTube comment feed of Obama Lies 1776. But here's where Bouchon gives away the game.
Of all the climatologists whose career depends on the climate changing to keep themselves publishing articles, yes, I could read that, but I don't believe it.
Jon Stewart 4:18
I do not believe the scientists because it is their profession, not their hobby. Well, since we're talking about the influence money might have on climate change opinion, it turns out Representative Bouchon's three biggest campaign donors are Murray Energy, Koch Enterprises, and Peabody Energy. And trust me, trust me, those three well-funded companies would love to disprove climate change to the satisfaction of the scientific community at large. So if scientists could be bought, these motherf***ers would have already made it rain in nerd town. Trust me. And again, I cannot stress this enough. This is the House of Representatives Committee on Science, Space, and Technology.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 5:07
How long will it take for the sea level to rise two feet? I mean, think about it. If your ice cube melts in your glass, it doesn't overflow. It's displacement. I mean, this is the thing, some of the things that they're talking about mathematically and scientifically don't make sense.

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