Trump Spooked by Plane at Xi Meeting & Sen. Tuberville Rails Against Flying Furries | Merritt Wever

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 37 min 6 speakers 5 chapters transcribed
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Jordan Klepper 0:00
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Jordan Klepper 1:38
That's QUINCE dot com slash daily show.
Britt Lower 1:45
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Unknown 1:51
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Center. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily Show with your host, Dizzy Lightning.
Desi Lydic 2:18
I'm Jesse Leiding. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Trump has a play date with China. We found a new way to give robots CTE. And could your next pilot be a furry? One senator with nothing better to do investigates. So let's get into the headlines. Let's kick things off with the midterm elections. With voting just one month away, Republicans are down in the polls. But President Trump is ready to campaign and stump for anyone who wants him.
John Kennedy 2:50
They actually don't want the president campaigning or stumping
Unknown 2:53
for them because he's too toxic. Republican candidates are running away from him like he's quote cryptid. Night. You're blanked if you mention him too much, and you're blanked if you don't stay in his good graces. Quote, we've told them he cannot come.
Desi Lydic 3:11
You told the president he can't come? What did he say?
Unknown 3:14
I'm gonna come.
Desi Lydic 3:20
But yes, Trump is about as popular as someone without a COVID mask at a Massachusetts lesbian bar, which means Which means Republicans need to find a big issue that will resonate with voters. Who's got something? No bad ideas.
Tommy Tuberville 3:41
Airline pilots. Flight attendants. And air traffic controllers are part of the furry community.
Desi Lydic 3:52
Almost no bad ideas. All right, fine, Senator Tuberville. Tell us more about this massive problem of furries on airplanes.
Tommy Tuberville 4:02
It's terrifying when you think about this. When you walk onto a commercial flight. It's possible that the pilot flying your plane could have a deranged fetus of dressing up like an animal. Can't make this up.
Desi Lydic 4:17
I think you did just make this Now first of all, if you don't know what furries are, mom and dad, we're talking about members of a sexual subculture who dress up as cartoon animals. It's like if everyone in that Chuck E. Cheese band f ⁇ ed each other. Think of it like regular sex, but with way more dry cleaning afterwards. But even if every pilot was a furry, to use a technical aviation term, who gives a flying f- When my plane hits turbulence, I'm not like, oh my god, I hope the pilot's never been pigged by the fox from Zootopia. So I wouldn't exactly bet on that catching on, but that's okay because this week Trump has a new opportunity to score a major foreign policy win.
Unknown 5:03
The leaders of the world's two biggest superpowers meeting right now. President Trump greeting China's leader Xi Jinping at Joint Base Andrews. The airport welcomed the first for a world leader besides the Pope since the 1960s.

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