This Week's News | Josh on Kash Patel's Bestiality Stance & Kosta on Another Oil Strait Closure
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Why did Mitch McConnell’s return to the Senate become a comedy headline?
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Let's start with Congress, the only branch of government that ages in dog years. For a while now, there's been growing concern about how old some members are, but it really peaked this summer when Senator Mitch McConnell got sick and disappeared with no explanation. The rumors spun out of control from him secretly being dead to people saying the photo that was posted of him in the hospital was photoshopped. It looked fine to me. He looks great. But yesterday was Congress's first day back in session, so it was time for McConnell to show up, lock in, and show everyone he's feeling A-OK. Let's go.
Senator McConnell, how are you feeling, Senator McConnell? How are you going to vote today, sir?
How you feeling, Mitch? You feeling all right, Mitch?
Good. Uh-oh. Okay. I see that he's giving a thumbs up, but that's not the thumbs up of a man who's doing well. That is the thumbs up of a football player on a stretcher that you're never going to see again. His thumb is saying, I'm good, but his face is saying, beep!
Beep!
But maybe Mitch was just overwhelmed by the media circus outside his door. I'm sure after he gave the thumbs up and got in his car, he seemed totally normal.
Amen. God bless you, sir. Stay safe, stay strong.
Wait, did he get stuck in thumbs up? Quick, tell the Senate to vote on universal health care right now. He's stuck like that. He has to vote yes. Republicans are going to have to flip him upside down to get a no vote. I'm sorry, but everything here screams puppet. Like, there's just a guy on the floor of the SUV with a fishing line. Like, quick, y'all, I can't open his mouth and move his thumb at the same time. But let's move on to something that can pass for a living human, AI. Over the last few years, we've heard about all the terrible things AI is going to do. Use all of our water, take all of our jobs, mess with our ability to think, or even worse, mess with our ability to think. Which is all bad, but at least it's not going to kill everyone.
Jacob Coxon, a researcher at leading AI firm Anthropic, says he resigned, posting, the people building AI earnestly believe that it could kill us all by the end of the decade.
End of the decade? It's fall 2026. That's just three pumpkin spice seasons away. But you know what? Maybe. That's just a disgruntled employee. People love to shit talk their jobs after they leave. You know, when my buddy got fired from Chick-fil-A, he told everybody they spend Sundays doing unspeakable things to the sauce. I'm sure the people who still work there don't earnestly believe AI could kill all humans.
A more senior employee at Anthropic wrote this on X. Jacob is correct here. We really do earnestly believe AI could kill all humans.
Damn it, you still work there? How do they get these employees? Do they just ask where you see yourself in five years? And if you say, killed by my own creation, you're hired. Frankenstein-ass workplace. But look, I'm not an expert. I don't know anything. The only time I use AI is when I try to Google and it makes me use AI. So why are the people who work there so convinced this is a
possibility? The reality is the first steps are already here. AI agents, and to be clear, those agents are computer programs. They're not people. They've already conspired together, written malicious code, faked online identities to try to outsmart humans. And we know it's already happened. In an essay, Amadei, whose company runs Claude, writing, a swarm of rogue AI agents could be capable of taking over the entire internet in just six to 12 months, and saying AI could be used for cyber attacks or to create biological weapons.
Six months ago? The Anthropic CEO is saying we could have six months before AI kills us all. Everyone, pick your death pose now, all right? You don't want to be like those people in Pompeii getting caught off guard, all right? You got to hit them with the... All right, I'm convinced AI is dangerous. Are you guys going to stop making it? Or do you have some other way to stop making it?
What are the biggest fears experts have about AI taking over humanity?
Anthropic CEO Dario Amadeus
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
Why did Mitch McConnell’s return to the Senate become a comedy headline?
0:01–5:15
2
What are the biggest fears experts have about AI taking over humanity?
5:15–12:33
3
How did Pete Hegseth’s “male‑physique” casting call spark controversy?
12:33–19:20
4
Why did senators question FBI Director Kash Patel’s new hiring standards?
19:20–22:46
5
What did the FBI say about bestiality being a disqualifier for agents?
22:46–26:03
6
How will Mayor Zoran Mamdani’s high‑tech public restrooms change NYC?
26:03–28:29
Speakers
9 identifiedMore from The Daily Show: Ears Edition
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Kash Patel Gets Tangled in Bestiality Questions & Don Jr. Gets a Blushing Bribe | Colin Kaepernick
Mitch McConnell Returns & Trump Dismisses AI Doomsday Warnings | Danielle Brooks
The Precap | Josh Johnson on RNC Crashing Grindr, Offering Trump-Backed Bribes & Debuting Hasan Piker’s Meat
TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change
This Week's Interviews | Gov. Spencer Cox, Jia Tolentino, Andrew Garfield