Iran War Closes Another Strait & Mamdani Debuts 10-Minute Toilets in NYC | Giri Nathan

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 33 min 6 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 4 hours ago
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What are the headline topics introduced at the start of the episode?

Olen Shannon Maldonado 0:00
Viilenevät illat, pitkät kävelyt ja tarina, joka vie mukanaan. Nyt koko kirja syksy puoleen hintaan. Storitel neljäksi kuukaudeksi 50 prosentin alennuksella. SOTILEL LISE Better With A Story.
Sean Stewart 0:16
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Britt Lower 0:22
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily Show with your host, Michael Costa!
Michael Kosta 0:45
Oh yeah, baby. Whoa, I love it. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michael Costa. We got so much to talk about tonight. The Iran War cinematic universe keeps expanding. Sports betting gets its sexy makeover. And great news, New Yorkers are getting a public restroom that isn't the C train. Hey, let's get into the headlines. Let's start right here in New York City. Home of the New York Knicks! And the Statue of Liberty! And Throg's Neck Bridge! We got some frog heads in the house. It's the best city in the world. A lot of buildup for that. It's the best city in the world. But it's not perfect. Luckily, we've got Mayor Zoran Mamdani here now. To fix our problems, starting with problems number one and number two.
Unknown 1:47
Finding a public restroom in the city could soon get a lot easier. Mayor Mondani announced plans to install 17 modular public restrooms in busy areas all across the five boroughs.
Michael Kosta 1:57
Yes, thank you, Mayor Mamdanny. Looks like Costa has weekend plans after all. But this'll be helpful because I'm so sick of having to buy a coffee every time I need to go to the bathroom. And then having to buy another coffee because the first coffee maybe need to go to the bathroom. And then yup, you guessed it another coffee for another bathroom. Coffee, bathroom, coffee, bathroom, coffee, bathroom. Until finally I'm home and I can relax on my couch with you guessed it, a nice cup of coffee. But These aren't just your regular old public restrooms. These have some pretty high-tech features.
Unknown 2:33
A QR code gets you in for free. Safety features include a smoke detector and a 10-minute time limit per use.
Michael Kosta 2:50
Wait, after 10 minutes the doors open automatically? People are gonna be in there on minute nine with their pants around their ankles trying to cut the wire like it's mission impossible. Red or blue, red or blue. I can't believe the door just flies open whether you're done or not. Nothing keeps things moving smoothly like a shot clock counting down until the entire city gets to see your butthole. On the other hand, it does beat the original idea, which was to eject you over the Throg's Neck Bridge. It's a great bridge. Let's move on to something that's lasted way longer than ten minutes, the war in Iran.
Unknown 3:34
Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen.
Michael Kosta 3:40
When Trump launched this war back in March, he promised us it would take just a few weeks and it would cost us nothing. And that promise went just as perfectly as all's other promises.
Unknown 3:49
Nearly seven months into the war with Iran, Americans are also footing a rapidly rising bill from the price of the war itself, the Congressional Budget Office now estimating thirty-eight billion dollars in rising, to the price of the things we need, like oil. Diesel prices pushed to new record highs again overnight. Diesel's rising costs can show up in everything from groceries to clothes to home heating.
Michael Kosta 4:12
Oh great. As if I don't already fight enough with my wife over the thermostat. I always want her to turn it down and she always wants me to stop coming home at 2 a.m. stinking of alcohol. You know, it's like marriage. But that's right, we've got a problem with diesel. And I mean the fuel source, not the brand of jeans worn exclusively by disgusting Europeans. And the cost is even more when you count all the military bases we have to repair, all the equipment we'll have to fix, all the Iran War Championship t-shirt merch we had to throw away. So I'm just a little confused. Donald Trump has assured many times that we've already won the war. So why are gas prices still going up?
Unknown 4:54
As a new wave of strikes this weekend targets vessels in the Strait of Hormuz, prompting escalating threats.
Michael Kosta 5:00
Dammit, the street of Hormuz? How is this still happening?

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