Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington
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What were the highlights of Trump's inauguration?
hey welcome welcome to the daily show uh my name is uh hold on my name is my name is john stewart i'm your host most historic vibe shift of the day uh Donald J. Trump, the 45th president of the United States, a man whose licentious and felonious behavior has been well cataloged and documented, returned to the Capitol Rotunda just four short years after inspiring, in that very place, a day of riotous shit. returned to the exact same room. Now, generally, if this were a Dateline documentary, he would return to that room to express a form of repentance and maturity and acknowledgement of the pain that had been wrought on that terrible day. But in this show that we're filming now, it's to be sworn in as the 47th president of the United States. And as with most returning to the scene of the crime,
It began with tea with the people you tried to steal it from.
A short time ago, President Joe Biden greeted Mr. and Mrs. Trump at the White House for tea, an inaugural tradition.
It's always important to keep up the tea tradition when you hand over the keys to, I'm sorry, what did you call them? Hitler? but gotta be a good host. Hey, the Wi-Fi password is White House, but I changed the I to a one. I hope that's not weird. I'm not saying Biden should have done his own insurrection, but there's gotta be a happy medium between storming the Capitol and would you like a crumpet? But everyone showed up. Yes, it's the Supreme Court taxiing in. Oh, please. They're taxiing in like the private jets some of them take to caged pheasant hunts. All very legal. And America's illustrious senators like Amy Klobuchar and Deb Fischer. And of course, Hakeem Jeffries was there. And Fetterman was... Are you... Come on! Fetterman! Really? Shorts? It's not even an inaugural decorum thing. It's f***ing freezing out there. It's a health concern. Fetterman is literally America's teenage son. It's your grandma's funeral. I told you I don't like long pants!
Fine, be cold. Even the president's family attended, most of whom didn't have to be warned not to do that weird f***ing thing with their hands. Don't, hey, hey, hey, don't, don't do it with your hands. Can you just be normal for a day? What was he doing? Literally like, look at my dick. Huh, what, no, okay, okay. But not to worry, also attending were all those people who warned Americans to shun this wannabe fascist dictator called Trump. Look at me, Ma. Oh, let's go see Hitler and get a quick selfie first. Hello, look at us. Oh, quick one for the gram. Yes, former President Obama was there. George Bush seemed kind of there. Definitely high. Even Mike Pence showed up, I guess, to let the crowd finish the job. Only Michelle Obama seemed to have the consistent ethical stance of saying, when they go low, I stay the f*** home. I don't care. I'm staying. Of course, Jill Biden was there, making the strategic choice of keeping her purse on. Which, as you know, is the international symbol of...
But the award for most useful fashion accessory went to the ever-stylish Melania Trump, whose Audrey Hepburn-esque chapeau, or head cloche, as it's called, doubled as an effective... If you don't control your borders... You don't have a head. Meanwhile, many dignitaries went not only hatless, but hairless with a plethora of stocky, bald billionaires who all seem to go to the same biohack life extension clinic and say, give me the Lex Luthor. Yes, taking the place of seats normally reserved for Democratic or Republican governors sat Zuck, Bezos, Tim Cook, Elon, Tic Tac Guy, Google Guy. The six guys who control maybe 20% of the world's wealth and 100% of your nudes. You don't need to pretend with me. I don't know what he's talking about. Delete, delete, delete. Populism, ladies and gentlemen. Shouldn't this gathering be happening in a volcano's lair near Zurich? Or are we just open source Illuminati now? Where's the conspiracy fun in that?
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