The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
09 Apr 2025
What is the current state of the U.S.-China trade war?
Statues. They're not just fancy toilets for pigeons. They're the highest form of art, an expression of beauty that people come from around the world to marvel at. But some idiots are trying to marvel their way to second base.
A popular tourist attraction may soon get an overall because tourists won't stop getting handsy.
The famous Dublin statue of a mythical fishmonger, Molly Malone. Malone's low-cut dress is attracting people's groping hands.
People are rubbing the statues so that the protective covering... has been rubbed away already from the bronze over a couple of years. So we will have to repatinate this regularly, which is a cost.
That's right. Horny morons have groped this statue so hard that the bronze finish wore off. Isn't the phrase, kiss me, I'm Irish, not motorboat my cat's iron cleavage, I'm Irish. How about you just let a fishmonger monger her fish in peace without you morons trying to touch her heaving mahi-mahis? It's almost... It gets worse. It's almost like these people don't know they aren't real boobs, okay?
It's not like a hard-boiled egg where you crack open the shell and reveal real boobs inside. But surely people must be doing this for a good and not stupid reason.
The practice of rubbing Molly Malone's breast is believed to have begun around 2012, instigated by an imaginative tour guide.
They grab Molly in the hope it will bring them luck. If it's lucky, I will touch it.
If it's lucky, I touch it. If it's a hole, I f*** it. Can someone in Ireland please tell this guy that skydiving without a parachute is also lucky? Please. And if you want to fondle a sculpture, that's your business. But don't act like you're doing it for good luck, okay? You're in Ireland.
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