TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
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How does The Daily Show celebrate Valentine's Day?
February 14th has long been a special day for people who aren't drowning in a sea of loneliness. But have we forgotten its true meaning? Nate Corddry investigates.
What is the War on St. Valentine's Day?
February 14th, the day when we pause to remember the martyrdom of Saint Valentine. As everyone knows, he married couples in defiance of the Emperor Claudius II. For that, he was brutally beheaded. But what was once a sacred holiday has been turned into a secular orgy. That's right, there's a war on Saint Valentine's Day.
We have chocolate thongs for women. This is for the guys. And those are very beautiful Valentine's Day sweaters.
A little lingerie. It's a far cry from the St.
Valentine TV specials we remember from our youth. This represents the still beating heart ripped from St. Valentine's chest.
Let us sup on his chocolatey love for the Lord.
And how are profit-hungry retailers cashing in? I went undercover for some reason to find out. In just 18 short centuries, we've gone from honoring the bloody decapitation of a religious martyr to dogs in boxer shorts, and innocent balloons turned into wanton displays of sexual perversion. Do you have a St. Valentine's Day section? St. Valentine's? Well, we have Valentine's Day cards. No, no, St. Valentine's Day cards. Not specifically for St. Valentine's, no. Yet another example of the War on St. Valentine's Day. Bastions of the Ivory Tower media elite like Harlequin Publishing would have you believe that it's all harmless fun. I've been out to the shops to see how people want us to celebrate Valentine's Day. How do you explain these?
I don't think I have to explain them. It keeps your juices flowing. All you people think about is sex. What about Saint Valentine? Huh? What about him?
I'm not an expert on that. I am a romance expert.
Isn't romance expert just a fancy way of saying slut? Haven't seen enough? You won't believe what's going on in our schools. Heathen craft projects. Pagan decorations. Someone had to put the saint back in St. Valentine's Day. Now I'm gonna starve you. What? Wait, what do you mean? I'm gonna strike down the wrath on you, buddy. I'm gonna kick your butt with my sword. No, no, please don't. I'm just trying to follow God's love. You went against me, and I'm gonna cut your head off with this sword right now. It was a lesson they'd never forget, and the school encouraged me to spread my message elsewhere. So remember, keeping Valentine's Day saintly begins with you. First, instead of giving flowers, sit quietly and reflect on the sacrifice of St. Valentine.
Second, don't take your loved one to a fancy dinner fast and reflect on St. Valentine's martyrdom. Third, cards are fine as long as you use them to paper cut your neck St. Valentine style. If we follow these simple steps, maybe one day, the great St. Valentine will be honored with the same reverence and respect of his brother, St. Patrick.
On a lighter note, today is Valentine's Day. And for more on love, that most mysterious of human emotions, we turn to our resident expert, John Hodgman. John, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, John. Let me put this to you, if I can. What is love?
Well, that's really the wrong question, John. If you've ever been in love, you know it has a different meaning every day. Some have argued it's always special. Others, by contrast, contend it's gripping stuff. A sizable minority even claims it's a quasi-mental illness prompting the bizarre sexualization of genital-free infants in a daily cartoon stream.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
How does The Daily Show celebrate Valentine's Day?
0:46–1:01
2
What is the War on St. Valentine's Day?
1:01–5:22
3
Why is love such a complex emotion?
5:22–11:51
4
How does technology affect Valentine's Day communication?
11:51
5
What unique Valentine's Day events are happening at synagogues?
8:18–16:47
6
What are people's opinions on Valentine's Day?
16:47–30:36
Speakers
6 identifiedMore from The Daily Show: Ears Edition
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