The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Biden’s Pardons, DIY Airport Security, Book Bans | Charles Yu
Fri, 06 Dec 2024
Ronny Chieng covers Biden’s potential pardons for Trump’s enemies, the NYPD’s hunt for the UnitedHealthcare CEO shooter, and Grace Kuhlenschmidt’s takes on airport security. Michael Kosta investigates Florida’s top book banner, Bruce Friedman, and the impact of his censorship crusade on schools. Charles Yu discusses adapting his novel Interior Chinatown into a Hulu series, working with Taika Waititi, and breaking stereotypes as an Asian American storyteller.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What are Biden's potential pardons about?
Any of those things. Anyway, let's move on, because the story that everyone is talking about isn't in Washington, D.C. It's right here in New York City, where a manhunt continues for a man accused of carrying out a targeted hit on a health insurance CEO. And investigators have been finding clues in some surprising places.
Urgent manhunt. Police looking for the man who gunned down the CEO of United Healthcare.
NBC News has learned that the words deny, defend, and depose were on the shell casings at the scene of the shooting.
Investigators believe this could be a reference to what's called the three Ds of insurance, a known reference made by critics of the health insurance industry.
to write something on something this small. And I mean, John, picture how you would try to do that. Would you take a fine point Sharpie? Would you try to scratch it in?
Would you train a mouse to write on it with some kind of mouse crayon? I mean, who gives a how he wrote it? It's not important how he wrote it. What's important is that he wrote it, okay? This guy knows that there are so many bullet casings on the streets of New York and he wanted to make sure we knew which ones were his, right? And now, yeah, I don't know. if we should be applauding that.
And now they're trying to interpret what deny, defend, and depose means. And it looks like it's either a criticism of the health insurance industry, or this guy was just trying to solve the world on his bullets or something. Honestly, I think all bullets should probably say stuff on them. I mean, how else are we gonna get Americans to read again, right?
We should load up a machine gun with a tale of two cities written in it. I mean, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. But now, the cops just need to narrow down their list of suspects to anyone in America who hates their healthcare plan and has access to guns. It should be solved in no time. And there's one other thing that might help them piece this together.
The NYPD is processing forensic evidence the suspect left behind at a nearby Starbucks just before the shooting.
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Chapter 2: What is the NYPD's current manhunt about?
Okay, you stopped at a Starbucks on your way to your assassination. Like, oh, you know me, I can't even think about murdering until I've had my coffee. This is helpful, though, because the guy went to the Starbucks. So we now know he's either a tourist or a local who really needed to take a shit.
And if he did use the bathroom, they'll definitely have his DNA because 99% of Starbucks bathroom users somehow missed the toilet. But that's not the only major crime story today. We also have crime in the skies.
New questions after an airport security breach. Federal investigators are looking to how a stowaway boarded a flight from New York to Paris at the height of holiday travel. Svetlana Dali managed to bypass the document check podium as well as the gate agent before boarding Delta Flight 264 from JFK to Charles de Gaulle Airport.
Dali was caught when a flight attendant noticed that she was going from bathroom to bathroom because she didn't have a seat on the plane.
Okay, first of all, that's not what a stowaway is, okay? A stowaway has to hug the wheel or hang onto the wing like Tom Cruise. If you're just inside the plane without a seat, you're not a stowaway. You're just losing at musical chairs, okay? And if security's so lax, hey, maybe I should have just left that bottle of shampoo in my backpack instead of trying to smuggle it up my ass. I mean...
Am I crazy? Like, how did she do this? Airport security is so complicated now. Like, they have ropes and the dogs and the machines and people and the scanner that, like, takes your naked photo and posts it on the internet. Like, what kind of secret agent acrobatics did she have to do to get past all of that?
She first used a lane reserved for flight crews and then skirted the standard ID check. But she went through a body scanner and voluntarily removed two bottles of water that officers discovered in her bags.
Oh, that's it? That's it. We give TSA $10 billion a year and all they got was her water. TSA is like, hey, we literally don't care who you are or what you plan on doing, just do not stay hydrated. For more on this story, let's go live to the airport with Grace Kuhlensmith. Grace. Grace. Grace, how did this woman evade airport security?
Beats the out of me, Ronnie. The way she did it made it look like they don't pay attention if you sneak through the flight crew line, but they do pay attention, especially when you yell, made it!
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Chapter 3: How did a woman bypass airport security?
No, I guess they thought I was the pilot, so they let me fly the plane. But my landing, it was a little bumpy, and that's when they caught me. They're super sharp, these guys.
Okay, Grace, do you have anything to report on at all?
Yes. It turns out there is an interesting new wrinkle to this story, which is I need a pardon. Did you know all of this was a federal crime?
Okay, yeah, I hear Joe Biden's hanging them out right now. Grace Kuhlman-Smith, everyone.
When we come back, we ban some books, so don't go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show.
Book banning fever is sweeping America, but is it possible that book banning may not be great? Michael Kosta has more.
Water skiing while intoxicated. Mentioning climate change in government records. Reading Maya Angelou in public schools. These are all things that are banned in Florida. That last one is because in March 2022, Ron DeSantis signed the curriculum transparency bill, which made it easier for anyone to request that any number of books be removed from public school libraries.
And if there's things like pornography, the parents have a right to say it should be removed from the school.
One individual has made more use of the law than anyone else in Florida, conservative activist and dirty bookworm, Bruce Friedman. You are the number one book banner in the number one state of book banning. You're the Michael Jordan of book banning.
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Chapter 4: What is the impact of book banning in Florida?
Okay, mixed. A colorful story. Two male characters getting married. That's it. Oh, yeah. Look at their big old dicks. It would happen to be male if you read the rest of the credits. Okay, so they're getting married, and then here's the most offensive part. Look what happens here. They have a green baby.
What do they do? Shit it out of their butthole? That's their problem. I don't want to get lost in the mechanics. All right, so what happened to the challenge? Failed. It was appealed.
And you immediately appealed.
That's what I do.
Chapter 5: Who is Bruce Friedman and what is his role in book bans?
So in your opinion, there's an alien creature in this book, and it's neither male nor female, and you believe it's part of a greater agenda. That is correct. I'm thinking of a person. Is it a boy? Nope. Is it a girl? Nope. Is it me? Is it you? Okay, now I'm thinking of a planet.
If your child was unclear on their sex, how would you resolve the issue?
But this is not the issue.
No, it's not.
I don't even know what the you're talking about by challenging this. Okay, then it fails and we move on. Right, but it did fail, the challenge, and you immediately appealed it.
Right, I always do. Anything that fails a challenge, I file an appeal.
And due to Florida law, books are removed while the challenge is appealed. So the little perverts who get off on color blobs and Star Wars aliens are out of luck. But there is a cost attached to Bruce's relentless drive.
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Chapter 6: What are the arguments for and against book banning?
We have spent more time and resources on Bruce Friedman than any other person in the history of Clay County.
And how are you personally affected by Bruce Friedman?
Well, essentially, I was the only librarian in the district who was speaking out against the book banning. And I guess I got to be too much trouble, and they decided to have me removed from the library.
So Bruce had you banned.
Maybe, I guess you could say that.
Yeah, Bruce's campaign has been so effective. He's not only been removing books and money from the school's budget, but also people from the library. But even Ron DeSantis may be questioning this strategy for helping Florida children. Earlier this year, the governor signed a new bill limiting the amount of challenges any one person can submit.
It's been mentioned that it might cost $100 to challenge a book. Yeah. Would that deter you? Nothing's going to stop me. Bruce, do you think you'll one day write a book about this experience? Sure. And would that book be banned from a public school library? Yeah.
Thank you, Michael. When we come back, Chelsea, you'll be joining me on the show, so don't go away.
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Chapter 7: How does book censorship affect education?
Thank you.
Thank you. Amazing. Yeah, thanks for coming on the show. Thank you for having me. Man, it's so good to see you again. The first time I met you was on this show. It is, yes. All those years ago. When you were on with Trevor. Yeah, that was Trevor. And you came back. It was really nice. No, I come back to meet all the Asians. only.
Yeah, so you were my showrunner and executive producer on this TV show. And there was a lot of stuff I couldn't ask you at the time. But now that you're a guest on my show, I got some questions for you. First of all, between me, Chloe Bennett, and Jimmy O. Yang, who got paid the most? You don't have to be specific, but just indicate who was the highest paid one and I'll be sure. Okay.
Taika Waititi. Oh, Taika. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. Oh, yeah. Taika was also the director of the pilot and he was the EP on the show as well. And you have a working relationship with him? I do.
I do. As we all do, right? We had fun. He directed that scene that you just showed.
But how did you get to work with him?
You know, I think a little bit of luck. I mean, I had been working with him on a project that I can't really talk about yet. But the script for this, I think maybe his manager or somebody sent it to him. And somehow he read it and liked it enough that he wanted to do it.
Oh, so he actually worked on this based on the strength of, it wasn't a pre-existing relationship. It was something you showed him your work on this project. Right. I think so. Yeah. I don't know. No, it must have been, right? You didn't know him before. You're too modest. You don't understand. You showed him the project and it wasn't like you guys were friends before.
We weren't friends, but no, but we had, sorry, we had been working together a little bit before.
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Chapter 8: What are the consequences of Bruce Friedman's actions?
And how was it like working with him? I asked you last. I asked myself. That scene is... How was it? Oh, it was great. It was great. I thought he was great. I thought he came and he was so creatively free. I've never seen someone who was that... I think we all aspire to be as free creatively as him.
Yeah, he's wild. He has the kind of wild creative energy. You can't really harness it. You don't want to. I think that scene is such a good example. Like... It's one of the funniest clips. You showed it. I didn't write that line. I just came to set a little bit late from, like, I don't know, lunch or something, and you guys were filming that, and I was like, that's really funny.
So I don't know who came up with it, you, Jimmy, or Taika.
I mean, it's a creative collaboration, but it was me, really. I remember when that... No, I'm just saying.
No, no, it's not a creative collaboration.
Well, I mean, we kind of launched into it, but, you know, the problem is, like, I feel like I did the press tour with you for this show, and everyone wants, like, the elevator pitch for this show, which is so annoying, because it's just like, tell me in five seconds, or I won't watch it. But now that we have time, and this is my show now, so freaking, you know, f*** the elevator pitch.
Like, tell us what the show's about.
Speaking of which, I have to show, I'm wearing Ronny Chieng socks.
Oh, okay, okay, okay. Show it for the camera. We've had this. Can you turn it? Yeah, I'm showing my eye, by the way. Can you make it clear that... Oh, Christmas colors. We got the Christmas colors. I got green and you got red.
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