In the Field with Ronny Chieng

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 27 min 17 speakers 2 chapters transcribed
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What are the issues with body donation scams in Arizona?

Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 0:26
And here in Arizona, people thinking about the afterlife are choosing something new, whole body donation.
Interviewee 3 0:32
More and more people are choosing to forego traditional burial and just donate their bodies to science.
There was a 20% increase in the number of people donating their body. Right here in Arizona, that's about 47,000 people.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 0:46
To investigate, I hit up a popular spot for the old folks to see if body donation really was all the rage. What do you want to happen to your body after you die? I'd consider whole body donation. Have you considered whole body donation?
Interviewee 1 1:00
Yes. I have it all ready set up.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 1:03
So you seem pretty old and close to death. What do you want to happen to you after you die?
Interviewee 1 1:07
I'm going to be donating it to science.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 1:10
What made you think of doing that?
Interviewee 1 1:12
I have no living relatives. Who's going to bury me?
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 1:15
Do you have any friends?
Interviewee 1 1:17
Uh, yeah, they don't care about my body.
News Reporter 1:19
Well, maybe they should care, because when I turned on the news, I discovered this. Scandal involving a body donation business in Phoenix. The owner accused of selling bodies and body parts. Essentially running a chop shop for human body parts.

How do body donation scams operate and what are the legal implications?

Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 1:35
A human chop shop? These were people, not cars you strip down for parts. I turned to a team of lawyers trying to end this horror. So what the is happening in Arizona?
Lawyer 1:47
People are getting people to donate their bodies and telling them that they're going to treat the bodies with dignity and respect.
Interviewee 2 1:54
And they were sold off like you would sell off the parts of a cow.
Lawyer 1:58
And then ultimately the FBI raided this organization here in Arizona.
Interviewee 2 2:03
So what did the FBI find? There were coolers and freezers of disarticulated body parts. You know, a cooler of arms, a cooler of legs. They found heads. They found the torso of a large human male with the head of a small female sewn on the top.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 2:25
All right, OK, we get it. Enough already. Jesus. Anyone here have a puppy I can pet for 10 seconds just to clear my head?
Lawyer 2:33
And they found a giant bag of penises.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 2:39
They found a bag of dicks?
Lawyer 2:41
Yes. It was referred to as a large bag of male genitalia.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 2:46
So it was a large bag of dicks?
Lawyer 2:47
Yes.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 2:49
I'm scared to even ask, but what were they going to do with this large bag of dicks?
Lawyer 2:53
Well, we really can only speculate. We know that some of it may have gone to the black market in Southeast Asia for something like penis wine.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 3:02
Okay, I'm from Southeast Asia. I've never heard of penis wine. What is it?
Lawyer 3:07
I think it's wine that has a penis in it that's supposed to make people more virile.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 3:13
That is disgusting.
Lawyer 3:15
I thought so.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 3:17
Is it red or white? I didn't even get close enough to the table. What kind of flavor profile is this? Is it nutty? I didn't taste it. Is there notes of foreskin? Can we move on? This is a serious case. Oh, yeah. That's right, Holly. We're just going to mention penis wine and not talk about it.
Interviewee 2 3:35
This case is about the harm that was done to people and families, not about penis wine.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 3:41
She's right. People thought they were donating their bodies for research to find cures for diseases, but instead it was real-life invasion of the body snatchers. How are they gonna fix this?
Lawyer 3:52
We need regulations. Licenses, for example.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 3:55
You don't need a license to deal with dead bodies.
Lawyer 3:58
Correct.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 3:59
You need a license to do nails. You need a license to fish. You need a license to drive a forklift.
Lawyer 4:04
Pay your money, fill out a form, and you're a medical director. That has to change.
Interviewee 2 4:09
This is horrific. This is not just an Arizona problem, it's a nationwide problem. And if you think it's not happening in your backyard, you're mistaken.
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit) 4:18
Okay, sorry, can we just go back to the penis wine for a second? Do they stomp on dicks the way they stomp on grapes? Are they squeezing out the penis or are they just fermenting it? I don't know. And I'm really not sure I wanna know. No one should have their dead body violated or their genitals turned into a tasty beverage. If people are gonna donate, they should at least know exactly what they're getting themselves into. They need to know the truth. Until Arizona puts regulations in place, all we can do is offer competing services. Introducing GiveRonnieYourBody.com. Just give me your body and we'll take care of the rest.

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