Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

I, myself, am a first-generation college graduate. I graduated from Harvard. I should disclose I went to Harvard, so I'm very familiar with the president and with how the community feels right now.

I, myself, am a first-generation college graduate. I graduated from Harvard. I should disclose I went to Harvard, so I'm very familiar with the president and with how the community feels right now.

I don't want to, although I love America and have been before. But this time, that's a no.

I don't want to, although I love America and have been before. But this time, that's a no.

Happy April 15th, it's Tax Day! Or as Wesley Snipes calls it, huh, what? What was I supposed to, oh. Oh, I have to make a call. Of course, it's a mad rush. Everybody's scrambling to get their returns done by the deadline. It is a mess. I have a solution. Ladies and gentlemen, everybody is always scrambling at the last minute on April 15th to get their taxes done. So let's make tax day the 16th.

Happy April 15th, it's Tax Day! Or as Wesley Snipes calls it, huh, what? What was I supposed to, oh. Oh, I have to make a call. Of course, it's a mad rush. Everybody's scrambling to get their returns done by the deadline. It is a mess. I have a solution. Ladies and gentlemen, everybody is always scrambling at the last minute on April 15th to get their taxes done. So let's make tax day the 16th.

That way, everybody can just relax. Problem solved. Unless I have fundamentally misunderstood human nature. And I don't think I have. But this year, Tax Day has some other kind of big surprises in store.

That way, everybody can just relax. Problem solved. Unless I have fundamentally misunderstood human nature. And I don't think I have. But this year, Tax Day has some other kind of big surprises in store.

So-called tea parties. Tea parties.

So-called tea parties. Tea parties.

A tea party. I hope we're invited. I'll bring my signature cucumber sandwiches. The secret is I use real cucumbers. It is that kind of tea party, right?

A tea party. I hope we're invited. I'll bring my signature cucumber sandwiches. The secret is I use real cucumbers. It is that kind of tea party, right?

Oh, protesting high taxes. Good luck selling that one. I mean, if there's one thing I know about the American people, they love baseball, kicking ass, and paying taxes to the government. And discreetly build hotel porn. So... Four things. This is like the Boston Tea Party for people that decided, let's say, I don't know, two and a half months ago, that they didn't want to pay taxes anymore.

Oh, protesting high taxes. Good luck selling that one. I mean, if there's one thing I know about the American people, they love baseball, kicking ass, and paying taxes to the government. And discreetly build hotel porn. So... Four things. This is like the Boston Tea Party for people that decided, let's say, I don't know, two and a half months ago, that they didn't want to pay taxes anymore.

The tea part is just a metaphor.

The tea part is just a metaphor.

That's what a million bags of tea looks like. Let me get this straight. To protest wasteful spending, you bought a million tea bags. Are you protesting taxes or irony? But clearly, the tea parties are a big story. Hundreds of tax protests all over the country. Thousands of disgruntled people of non-color taking to the streets.

That's what a million bags of tea looks like. Let me get this straight. To protest wasteful spending, you bought a million tea bags. Are you protesting taxes or irony? But clearly, the tea parties are a big story. Hundreds of tax protests all over the country. Thousands of disgruntled people of non-color taking to the streets.

And it wouldn't be possible without the sponsors, like Discontent, the emotion you feel when you don't get what you want. And Tea, the drink you order when they don't have what you want. And corporate sponsorship provided by Fox News, the news you watch when news isn't what you want.

And it wouldn't be possible without the sponsors, like Discontent, the emotion you feel when you don't get what you want. And Tea, the drink you order when they don't have what you want. And corporate sponsorship provided by Fox News, the news you watch when news isn't what you want.