Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Ronnie Chang.

Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Ronnie Chang.

We got so much to talk about tonight. The Proud Boys are back in town. Donald Trump faces off against Jesus. And we sent Triumph to sniff the buttholes of the resistance. So let's get into another edition of the second coming of Donald J. Trump. It's only day two of Trump's presidency and already everyone is mad at him. I mean, guys, can you give him a minute? Let him sit down.

We got so much to talk about tonight. The Proud Boys are back in town. Donald Trump faces off against Jesus. And we sent Triumph to sniff the buttholes of the resistance. So let's get into another edition of the second coming of Donald J. Trump. It's only day two of Trump's presidency and already everyone is mad at him. I mean, guys, can you give him a minute? Let him sit down.

It started in the morning when Trump went to the traditional post-inauguration church service, which is not exactly his preferred way to start the day. It's never fun for him to be a guest at someone else's rally. And to make matters worse, the preacher was kind of preachy.

It started in the morning when Trump went to the traditional post-inauguration church service, which is not exactly his preferred way to start the day. It's never fun for him to be a guest at someone else's rally. And to make matters worse, the preacher was kind of preachy.

New executive order. We are banning church. Hey, Bishop, please, all right? We don't go to church to hear a lecture about having mercy on the less fortunate. That's not what church is for. And Trump was like, I only came here because I heard there were free crackers, and now I'm getting roasted by Tig Notaro?

New executive order. We are banning church. Hey, Bishop, please, all right? We don't go to church to hear a lecture about having mercy on the less fortunate. That's not what church is for. And Trump was like, I only came here because I heard there were free crackers, and now I'm getting roasted by Tig Notaro?

He was probably looking up at Jesus on the cross and thinking, hey, you and me both, brother. To be fair, I mean, can you imagine going to church and the pastor is only addressing you? Like, this next sermon is about the sinners, the cheaters, the degenerate gamblers, Gary. The point is, no one has ever had a worse time in church than Trump did. And yes, I've seen spotlight.

He was probably looking up at Jesus on the cross and thinking, hey, you and me both, brother. To be fair, I mean, can you imagine going to church and the pastor is only addressing you? Like, this next sermon is about the sinners, the cheaters, the degenerate gamblers, Gary. The point is, no one has ever had a worse time in church than Trump did. And yes, I've seen spotlight.

And you could tell that he had a bad time because of the way he came out of the church super bitchy.

And you could tell that he had a bad time because of the way he came out of the church super bitchy.

President, what did you think of the sermon?

President, what did you think of the sermon?

Yeah. Does that excite you? Did you like that? Watching your president get lectured to by Bishop Rachel Maddow? Get your little liberal d*** card, you sick f***. And is this how we do presidential press conferences now? This is like TMZ at the Departures Hall at LAX. It's like, hey, Mr. President, hey! Mr. President, what do you think about Blake Lively and Justin Baldone?

Yeah. Does that excite you? Did you like that? Watching your president get lectured to by Bishop Rachel Maddow? Get your little liberal d*** card, you sick f***. And is this how we do presidential press conferences now? This is like TMZ at the Departures Hall at LAX. It's like, hey, Mr. President, hey! Mr. President, what do you think about Blake Lively and Justin Baldone?

But after getting yelled at by this church Karen, Trump was also getting yelled at by everyone just because he released hundreds of violent insurrectionists back into the streets or something. And yeah, okay, they beat some cops and broke some windows, but they were doing it for him. No one seems to understand that, and the media won't shut up with these unfair gotcha questions.

But after getting yelled at by this church Karen, Trump was also getting yelled at by everyone just because he released hundreds of violent insurrectionists back into the streets or something. And yeah, okay, they beat some cops and broke some windows, but they were doing it for him. No one seems to understand that, and the media won't shut up with these unfair gotcha questions.

We'll take a look at everything. Shouldn't you look at it before you issue the pardon? It's like step one, release the prisoners. Step two, look into which prisoners we should release. nailed it. So part one of his answer about this whole Gen 6 thing is we'll take a look, which is Trump speak for we will never look at this again. But if that doesn't satisfy you, he has another reason.

We'll take a look at everything. Shouldn't you look at it before you issue the pardon? It's like step one, release the prisoners. Step two, look into which prisoners we should release. nailed it. So part one of his answer about this whole Gen 6 thing is we'll take a look, which is Trump speak for we will never look at this again. But if that doesn't satisfy you, he has another reason.