Ronny Chieng

's wedding if I was too old to wanna do cocaine, right?

And besides, this is Don Jr.

's third fiance.

Trump's probably like, if I miss this wedding, I'll just catch the next one.

So fake news media, stop trying to get him with these gotcha questions like, are you going to attend your son's wedding?

The man's got important news about what's going on in Iran, and I wanna pay attention.

We have total control of the Strait of Hormuz, as you know, with our blockade.

The blockade's been 100% effective.

Nobody's been able to get close like a steel wall.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I cannot pay attention.

I don't want to tell the White House how to do their job, but is it possible that when the president is speaking in the Oval Office, we don't have a giant protruding belly button...

five inches from his face.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is beneath the dignity of the office, and it's a low bar.

Can you at least blur it or something?

I know it's technically not indecent, but it's making me very uncomfortable.

I mean, a tie would solve this, or maybe a sweater, or like 19 sweaters.

Wait, wait, hang on a second.