Roxane Gay

that they have decided they should be able to opt out of and still have the woman of their dreams and the career of their dreams.

Like that's not how any of this works.

You have to put effort in and it doesn't have to even be that much effort.

I see scrubs all the time who are doing just fine.

And so like, it just takes a little effort and it's, I, you know, I, I'm not, I have some empathy for,

disillusioned people and disillusioned men, because they were told that they were going to have the world as their oyster, and their fathers and their grandfathers did.

And then here's this generation that isn't getting everything they've ever wanted, even though, really, did anyone ever get it?

And if you've been told a certain thing your entire life and then it's not true,

Of course you're disillusioned, but I also don't think that that disillusionment is an excuse for hating women and for hating just people of color or queer people, etc.

They always target people who are more vulnerable than them so that they can feel some sense of toxic masculinity.

It's just a terrible brew.

But most men are not susceptible to that, fortunately.

They're fine.

And the hand-wringing that we do in the media all the time about like the male loneliness epidemic, I don't know, stop looking at a screen and go outside and talk to someone.

Yes and no.

Part of me just thinks they need to work this out amongst themselves because men listen to other men.

And so I think men need to take responsibility for their brethren.

I really, really do because they're actually not going to listen to women for the most part.

They're just not.

And so I think men need to hold other men accountable.