Royce Keys

you know so it was he lost his life saving you yeah so it was one of those things like it was I don't know if I should say like it was meant to happen but if you play a certain game you win certain prizes right so it's one of those things like you look what he sacrificed was himself to save me and it's just like I replayed in my head it's just like

to see somebody like laying there, just gasping for air and just, just blood just coming out of them.

And you don't, you don't know like what to, what to feel like someone that's, you know,

trying to trying to get by do do what we have to do to survive to to lose their life so it's like i kind of i go through these moments why i hear certain things and

Like, I hear certain things, and it reminds me of him.

And I felt guilty for so many years.

Like, I felt guilty for wanting to be like him.

But if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have certain things growing up.

Like, I feel guilty for...

Like, not being the son maybe I should have been for my mom.

Like, maybe she would have still be here.

Maybe I could have not been mad at times at her and just like, man, I think my mom cared me for nine months.

first person to ever put an outfit on me but I like had to pick her last outfit and it's just like being in the room like having to sit with my dad and my sister and be like okay well we got to make the decision what are we going to do why are we going to let her live like this we can't or you know we have to tell the doctors you know what we don't want to and I'm

My sister and my dad, you know, I loved them.

They left the room because they couldn't handle it.

And me being the man, like, I got to – I sat there and thought, like, my mom held me, watching me breathe, and I watched her take her last breath.

So it's like I have – still have guilt because maybe I – like, certain things I could have done to –

to prevent these things.

But I know that I know none of it was, was my fault, but it's still, it's still, uh, it's still eats me up at times.

Um, I'm so sorry.