Ryan Blair

You know, when he passed away, I was shocked. I was in my bathtub. I love taking baths. I was in a salt bath. I was meditating, and something, a voice came to me and said, your father just passed away. And I hadn't seen him since I was 13 years old. He tried to reach out to me a number of times on Facebook, and I was so angry toward him, I blocked him. So he couldn't reach out to me anymore.

You know, when he passed away, I was shocked. I was in my bathtub. I love taking baths. I was in a salt bath. I was meditating, and something, a voice came to me and said, your father just passed away. And I hadn't seen him since I was 13 years old. He tried to reach out to me a number of times on Facebook, and I was so angry toward him, I blocked him. So he couldn't reach out to me anymore.

Even though he was trying to reach out to me in the best way he could, with the best love that he could. He wasn't trying to pick a fight with me. He was trying to say, hey, I'm still your father. But I rejected that. I said no. I never let him see my son, Reagan, his grandson. And so when he died, it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I'd never have that opportunity to give him a hug.

Even though he was trying to reach out to me in the best way he could, with the best love that he could. He wasn't trying to pick a fight with me. He was trying to say, hey, I'm still your father. But I rejected that. I said no. I never let him see my son, Reagan, his grandson. And so when he died, it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I'd never have that opportunity to give him a hug.

Even though he was trying to reach out to me in the best way he could, with the best love that he could. He wasn't trying to pick a fight with me. He was trying to say, hey, I'm still your father. But I rejected that. I said no. I never let him see my son, Reagan, his grandson. And so when he died, it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I'd never have that opportunity to give him a hug.

I'd never have the opportunity for him to meet his grandson. And I denied him that. And I realized at that moment that I could have been a better man, that I could have just given him that knowing that, you know, that there's still love between us. And, you know, he didn't have to die with this uncertainty and this sadness around me.

I'd never have the opportunity for him to meet his grandson. And I denied him that. And I realized at that moment that I could have been a better man, that I could have just given him that knowing that, you know, that there's still love between us. And, you know, he didn't have to die with this uncertainty and this sadness around me.

I'd never have the opportunity for him to meet his grandson. And I denied him that. And I realized at that moment that I could have been a better man, that I could have just given him that knowing that, you know, that there's still love between us. And, you know, he didn't have to die with this uncertainty and this sadness around me.

And I knew that I had made him die that way, that I had rejected him and I'd withheld forgiveness from him. And all of a sudden it became completely clear that if he was alive for 10 more minutes, I'd have given him that hug. knowing what I knew after he had passed away. And once I determined that, I said, okay, now I have to go and reconcile and forgive him for everything I can find.

And I knew that I had made him die that way, that I had rejected him and I'd withheld forgiveness from him. And all of a sudden it became completely clear that if he was alive for 10 more minutes, I'd have given him that hug. knowing what I knew after he had passed away. And once I determined that, I said, okay, now I have to go and reconcile and forgive him for everything I can find.

And I knew that I had made him die that way, that I had rejected him and I'd withheld forgiveness from him. And all of a sudden it became completely clear that if he was alive for 10 more minutes, I'd have given him that hug. knowing what I knew after he had passed away. And once I determined that, I said, okay, now I have to go and reconcile and forgive him for everything I can find.

And I took out old pictures. I took out pictures of him and me and there wasn't very many of them because I only had 13 years and at the time we didn't have cameras on us at all time, but I found as many pictures. I reached out to family members and I got pictures of him as a child so I could deeply go into who he was as a child

And I took out old pictures. I took out pictures of him and me and there wasn't very many of them because I only had 13 years and at the time we didn't have cameras on us at all time, but I found as many pictures. I reached out to family members and I got pictures of him as a child so I could deeply go into who he was as a child

And I took out old pictures. I took out pictures of him and me and there wasn't very many of them because I only had 13 years and at the time we didn't have cameras on us at all time, but I found as many pictures. I reached out to family members and I got pictures of him as a child so I could deeply go into who he was as a child

When he was a victim, before he became a perpetrator, who was this man, this young man? And I connected to him there. And I did forgiveness exercises over and over where I'd bring up the good times. I'd tell him what I needed forgiveness for because I cursed his name a number of times. I was not the perfect son by any means. He certainly wasn't the perfect dad.

When he was a victim, before he became a perpetrator, who was this man, this young man? And I connected to him there. And I did forgiveness exercises over and over where I'd bring up the good times. I'd tell him what I needed forgiveness for because I cursed his name a number of times. I was not the perfect son by any means. He certainly wasn't the perfect dad.

When he was a victim, before he became a perpetrator, who was this man, this young man? And I connected to him there. And I did forgiveness exercises over and over where I'd bring up the good times. I'd tell him what I needed forgiveness for because I cursed his name a number of times. I was not the perfect son by any means. He certainly wasn't the perfect dad.

And I rebelled as much as I possibly could. And so I sought forgiveness. I gave forgiveness. And I repeated that. for about two years. And I would do these exercises until anything that I could find in my heart that I was still holding on to, I forgave him for.

And I rebelled as much as I possibly could. And so I sought forgiveness. I gave forgiveness. And I repeated that. for about two years. And I would do these exercises until anything that I could find in my heart that I was still holding on to, I forgave him for.

And I rebelled as much as I possibly could. And so I sought forgiveness. I gave forgiveness. And I repeated that. for about two years. And I would do these exercises until anything that I could find in my heart that I was still holding on to, I forgave him for.