Ryan Holiday

We can't start dying before our time.

We have to live now while we still can.

When it comes to family, we have to be kind.

Marcus Aurelius' stepbrother Lucius Verus was hardly a great man.

Unlike Marcus, he was not as driven or as smart.

We hear that he liked to party.

He was not always so diligent in his responsibilities.

But still, Marcus Aurelius loved his stepbrother and not only found a role for him leading the troops, but celebrated his accomplishments, sometimes at the expense of his own.

Would he have treated his other generals so generously?

It's doubtful.

In Rome, it was said that not all men could be Cato's, and that included Cato's brother.

His brother was more stoic than Lucius Verus, but he also loved luxury, at least compared to his brother.

Did it bother Cato that his brother wear perfume?

Would he have judged other men harshly for doing the same thing?

Probably.

But as Bruce Springsteen put it in one of his greatest songs, when it's your brother, sometimes you look the other way.

Is this stoic?

To hold people you love to different standards?

To let them get away with things you wouldn't do yourself?

Maybe.