Ryan Lawrence

To live this life that I've created for myself is hell. Hell exists. It's real. I know that.

To live this life that I've created for myself is hell. Hell exists. It's real. I know that.

To live this life that I've created for myself is hell. Hell exists. It's real. I know that.

It's incredibly hard to talk about this for many reasons and even harder to find the words to explain such a horrible crime. It's with all of my heart that I convey my sincerest apology. to everyone for taking Maddox from her family and everyone who loved her. I'm also utterly sorry for denying Maddox her chance at life.

It's incredibly hard to talk about this for many reasons and even harder to find the words to explain such a horrible crime. It's with all of my heart that I convey my sincerest apology. to everyone for taking Maddox from her family and everyone who loved her. I'm also utterly sorry for denying Maddox her chance at life.

It's incredibly hard to talk about this for many reasons and even harder to find the words to explain such a horrible crime. It's with all of my heart that I convey my sincerest apology. to everyone for taking Maddox from her family and everyone who loved her. I'm also utterly sorry for denying Maddox her chance at life.

I can't expect your forgiveness, but I tell you now that the sorrow I feel for what I've done is complete and comes from the deepest depths of my being. This sorrow I feel has nothing to do with being in jail. But for the pain, for the loss of Maddie, I miss her so bad. Max is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I can't expect your forgiveness, but I tell you now that the sorrow I feel for what I've done is complete and comes from the deepest depths of my being. This sorrow I feel has nothing to do with being in jail. But for the pain, for the loss of Maddie, I miss her so bad. Max is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I can't expect your forgiveness, but I tell you now that the sorrow I feel for what I've done is complete and comes from the deepest depths of my being. This sorrow I feel has nothing to do with being in jail. But for the pain, for the loss of Maddie, I miss her so bad. Max is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I'd say that to her all the time and to anyone else who'd listen. It was amazing to have her everywhere I went, including all the times I brought her to work with me. When our baby was diagnosed with cancer, we were in shock, but hopeful that the doctors in New York City would cure her, as indeed they did.

I'd say that to her all the time and to anyone else who'd listen. It was amazing to have her everywhere I went, including all the times I brought her to work with me. When our baby was diagnosed with cancer, we were in shock, but hopeful that the doctors in New York City would cure her, as indeed they did.

I'd say that to her all the time and to anyone else who'd listen. It was amazing to have her everywhere I went, including all the times I brought her to work with me. When our baby was diagnosed with cancer, we were in shock, but hopeful that the doctors in New York City would cure her, as indeed they did.

Even after enduring countless overnight trips to the hospital and fruitless attempts at suiting a baby who couldn't possibly understand why she couldn't eat for hours before invasive treatment procedures, the threat of her cancer returning was very real. Our work schedules were arranged so that one of us was always with the baby, but there was very little time for the three of us together.

Even after enduring countless overnight trips to the hospital and fruitless attempts at suiting a baby who couldn't possibly understand why she couldn't eat for hours before invasive treatment procedures, the threat of her cancer returning was very real. Our work schedules were arranged so that one of us was always with the baby, but there was very little time for the three of us together.

Even after enduring countless overnight trips to the hospital and fruitless attempts at suiting a baby who couldn't possibly understand why she couldn't eat for hours before invasive treatment procedures, the threat of her cancer returning was very real. Our work schedules were arranged so that one of us was always with the baby, but there was very little time for the three of us together.

nor enough money for a sitter or much of anything else. Still, we treated her and fed her better than we did ourselves, and loved her far more than anything else we've ever known. In no way can I justify my actions, and there is no one to blame but myself. There is no good explanation for such a horrendous crime, and regret is too simple a term to describe what I feel.

nor enough money for a sitter or much of anything else. Still, we treated her and fed her better than we did ourselves, and loved her far more than anything else we've ever known. In no way can I justify my actions, and there is no one to blame but myself. There is no good explanation for such a horrendous crime, and regret is too simple a term to describe what I feel.

nor enough money for a sitter or much of anything else. Still, we treated her and fed her better than we did ourselves, and loved her far more than anything else we've ever known. In no way can I justify my actions, and there is no one to blame but myself. There is no good explanation for such a horrendous crime, and regret is too simple a term to describe what I feel.

What I can say is I've never felt such strong emotions towards anything in my life than my ever-growing and unconditional love for Maddox, and now I'm completely distraught by overwhelming grief and anguish for what I've done. I was never jealous of my daughter. Both our families know I love Maddox. If anything, I only wanted more for her.

What I can say is I've never felt such strong emotions towards anything in my life than my ever-growing and unconditional love for Maddox, and now I'm completely distraught by overwhelming grief and anguish for what I've done. I was never jealous of my daughter. Both our families know I love Maddox. If anything, I only wanted more for her.