Róisín Ingle

But luckily I had some weird voice.

Da, da, da.

Came in and went, that won't help you.

That will make it worse.

You know, I could literally, I mean, I'm not saying it was a voice.

It was whatever you call your inner self or your real true self.

I'm so lucky that something came in that was really like true in me, in my being and said, no, no, it's not actually going to help.

In a really nice way.

Like it wasn't saying to put that wine down.

from your life as a coping mechanism I did yeah and you can understand why people are drawn to it because it numbs those that's what I'm saying it numbs the stuff but what I'm saying is I feel so grateful that in that moment would have been even more likely to do it that something kicked in that showed me really clearly that that was really stupid even though I should have known that by now you know I only got it that day and I'm really that's the thing about

You know, we talk about my father dying by suicide and my mother seeing it as a gift or framing it.

Like, I am big on... This has happened to me two years ago and there's things that have happened that I wouldn't have done.

Like, I wouldn't have stopped drinking wine and maybe that would have been something that had caused me lots of health problems in the future or whatever.

I see that as a gift and I have that thing of... I have a beautiful German neighbour called Bettina who works with people in end of life and she's with people...

I got to interview her during the pandemic because I was talking to people who had been, various people who were caring for people at the time.

And she was talking about how loads of things happened in the pandemic that they've been trying to get happen, but they couldn't because of all the bureaucracy.

But then suddenly you were allowed to have people on the phone talking to people who were dying and you were allowed to have playlists and all these things.

And anyway, I went to see Bettina.

It's funny because she lives a few doors down.

That's what I realized.