Róisín Ingle

I was doing all that.

I'm not doing that anymore with wine.

But I totally understand the impulse.

What I'm saying is it's so destructive.

It doesn't help.

It doesn't help.

And that was what happened that day.

I'm sorry, I'm jumping ahead here.

You're probably going, why is she jumping ahead?

the day that they told me that it was on my bones because they told me it was breast cancer and I was kind of like oh yeah loads of my friends have had breast cancer I'll get a breast removed and everything will be fine but then when they tell you no actually it's stage four and it's on your bones it's a different thing right so I remember coming back and I remember sitting over there and standing in my fridge and it was a beautiful bottle of wine and I was

I literally could see myself like glugging it down and going into bed and just pulling the duvet.

I could see how in my head that would actually in my head, I thought that will make it all go away or at least we'll make it go away for half an hour.

And I want that.

I don't want to be standing in my kitchen thinking, I don't know how long I have to live.

I don't know what this cancer is going to do, where else it's going to go.

I've got to tell my kids who are about to come home from school.

I don't want this feeling.

It's horrible.

Right.

So reacting to it to make it go away was a natural inclination.