Sabrina Zohar

Are they showing up for you?

And that doesn't just mean that they don't text you for a day, but is this person making plans?

Are they actually progressing the relationship?

And I think for me, you know, I'll be honest, like I have ADHD.

So my cadence, my speech, I'm a totally different, the way that my brain works.

So I might show up differently and be super keen on somebody, whereas my partner is super avoidant and he's not in the texting and his way of showing up is I'm going to spend time with you.

And so I think it's really important when we're actually trying to assess if somebody likes you, I want to see one, how does your nervous system feel?

Are we constantly in this hyper, hypo arousal, hyper arousal?

Are we high?

Are we low?

But I really think it goes back to the old school way of doing it.

Can you have an open conversation with them?

And at the end of the day, can you just ask them, hey, how are you feeling about this?

And what are your intentions with where we're going?

I know it sounds like, oh, we all want a trick and we all want something that we can look at.

But I found really most people are pretty apt to having a conversation if we approach it in the right way.

The number one question I ask is if you're chasing somebody, if you're going into the ruminating and the spiraling, I want you to check in with how old do you feel and where did I learn this from?

Because those are the two questions, two things in general that changed my life.

Now, why do we do it?

It's interesting because when we ask why questions, and not that we're not going to answer it, but ourselves, why don't they like me?