Sadia Khan

Attachment styles.

I talk about this in the book that I genuinely believe that sometimes we label people as avoidant when really they're just not attracted to us.

It could be as simple as that.

They're just not attracted to us.

Now, there's definitely truth in the theory.

There's definitely anxious people.

There's definitely avoidant people.

And there's definitely secure people.

But I would say before you label people, you have to realize, do they actually?

Because let's say for me, I'm a very anxious person.

I can get very insecure and I can get all of those ways.

But if I was talking to somebody I'm not attracted to, they would think I'm avoidant.

They're like, she hardly replies.

She never wants to see me.

I'm like, but I don't want to see you.

That doesn't mean I'm like that in general.

So I think it's a misunderstanding of like, I think all of those things only matter when you've got the foundation of are you attracted to each other and you want to be with each other.

If you're attracted to each other and want to be with each other, then the behaviors start acting a bit difficult.

Then there is some truth to the theory.

But if the fundamentals aren't there, then the theory doesn't explain and can't undo the lack of attraction.