Sahaj Kaur Kohli

And it can help direct our behavior.

If we're really sitting with it, we can understand, okay, you know what?

I didn't want to hurt that person or I didn't want to do that thing.

So that can help you then decide to make amends, to change your behavior, to apologize, right?

But then we have unhealthy guilt where maybe the guilt that we're feeling is adopted through values that we don't necessarily hold or boundaries that we don't necessarily want to hold.

So long term guilt, you know, guilt is not necessarily a negative emotions.

It's really important to understand that differentiation, that guilt is something that can really guide us.

And like any emotion, it's telling us something and we must listen to it before we decide how to handle it.

Yeah.

So the thing about chronic guilt is that it can force us to be small.

It can tell us we must stay within the box.

We shouldn't take up a lot of space.

It kind of encourages us to distrust our own needs and wants, especially if they differ from the people around us and our immigrant parents.

So

Some strategies for adopting and dealing with guilt.

It's really important to question the guilt.

It's important to identify your parents' beliefs and values and then explore your own and see how they overlap.

Ask yourself, you know, how can I lovingly detach from the assumption or belief my parent has?

Ask yourself if you are internalizing something that doesn't actually speak true to you.

Remind yourself also that your parents are often doing the best they can with what they know and what they were taught.