Salima Saxton

Because sometimes I just think it would be better if I wasn't here anymore. I met Carl when I was 22 in the waiting room of an audition room for a Bollywood film. Neither of us got the part. I asked him for the time as a really spurious reason to talk to him because he was simply the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life. On our first date, I asked him if he wanted children over the starter.

I cried over the main course. I am a crier. And over dessert, I very optimistically asked him for a second date. Miraculously, he agreed. And six weeks later, he asked me to marry him. The following summer, we were married in a London registry office, me in a red vintage dress, him in an ill-fitting suit, but he still looked really handsome. We cobbled together a reception at a pub down the road.

I cried over the main course. I am a crier. And over dessert, I very optimistically asked him for a second date. Miraculously, he agreed. And six weeks later, he asked me to marry him. The following summer, we were married in a London registry office, me in a red vintage dress, him in an ill-fitting suit, but he still looked really handsome. We cobbled together a reception at a pub down the road.

I cried over the main course. I am a crier. And over dessert, I very optimistically asked him for a second date. Miraculously, he agreed. And six weeks later, he asked me to marry him. The following summer, we were married in a London registry office, me in a red vintage dress, him in an ill-fitting suit, but he still looked really handsome. We cobbled together a reception at a pub down the road.

A chef friend of ours made a big chocolate cake, and we bought tons of boxed wine from a cash and carry. So on my side, my family, there was my dad, very angry because I'd walked myself down the aisle, There were my extended family, the Buddhists, the Amnesty International members, the liberals, the very earnest guests. On the other side was Carl's family. They were different.

A chef friend of ours made a big chocolate cake, and we bought tons of boxed wine from a cash and carry. So on my side, my family, there was my dad, very angry because I'd walked myself down the aisle, There were my extended family, the Buddhists, the Amnesty International members, the liberals, the very earnest guests. On the other side was Carl's family. They were different.

A chef friend of ours made a big chocolate cake, and we bought tons of boxed wine from a cash and carry. So on my side, my family, there was my dad, very angry because I'd walked myself down the aisle, There were my extended family, the Buddhists, the Amnesty International members, the liberals, the very earnest guests. On the other side was Carl's family. They were different.

There was a man called Mickey Four Fingers, whose name really explains the man. There was a group of ex-cons whose gold jewellery competed for attention with their gold teeth. And then there was his dear dementia-ridden mum, Pat. She'd actually been a getaway driver for her naughty brothers in the 80s. She was an amazing woman.

There was a man called Mickey Four Fingers, whose name really explains the man. There was a group of ex-cons whose gold jewellery competed for attention with their gold teeth. And then there was his dear dementia-ridden mum, Pat. She'd actually been a getaway driver for her naughty brothers in the 80s. She was an amazing woman.

There was a man called Mickey Four Fingers, whose name really explains the man. There was a group of ex-cons whose gold jewellery competed for attention with their gold teeth. And then there was his dear dementia-ridden mum, Pat. She'd actually been a getaway driver for her naughty brothers in the 80s. She was an amazing woman.

But now she just called everybody darling, very, very charmingly, but mainly because she didn't really know where she was or who any of us were. So it was a joyous, it was a sad, it was an awkward, it was a stressful occasion, and it made both of us yearn for elders that could be there to hold our hands in such big life events. We both wanted to rocket away from our upbringings.

But now she just called everybody darling, very, very charmingly, but mainly because she didn't really know where she was or who any of us were. So it was a joyous, it was a sad, it was an awkward, it was a stressful occasion, and it made both of us yearn for elders that could be there to hold our hands in such big life events. We both wanted to rocket away from our upbringings.

But now she just called everybody darling, very, very charmingly, but mainly because she didn't really know where she was or who any of us were. So it was a joyous, it was a sad, it was an awkward, it was a stressful occasion, and it made both of us yearn for elders that could be there to hold our hands in such big life events. We both wanted to rocket away from our upbringings.

Carl, partly for physical safety, both of us for emotional safety. And together we did that. I also had ideas of success from 90s rom-coms and TV series. Do you remember The Party of Five, The O.C.? I had an idea that if I had a kitchen island, freshly cut flowers, linen napkins and a gardener, like just a weekend one, then somehow the perfect TV family would just walk in.

Carl, partly for physical safety, both of us for emotional safety. And together we did that. I also had ideas of success from 90s rom-coms and TV series. Do you remember The Party of Five, The O.C.? I had an idea that if I had a kitchen island, freshly cut flowers, linen napkins and a gardener, like just a weekend one, then somehow the perfect TV family would just walk in.

Carl, partly for physical safety, both of us for emotional safety. And together we did that. I also had ideas of success from 90s rom-coms and TV series. Do you remember The Party of Five, The O.C.? I had an idea that if I had a kitchen island, freshly cut flowers, linen napkins and a gardener, like just a weekend one, then somehow the perfect TV family would just walk in.

So together, Carl and I did actually do some of that. We lived in this she-she neighborhood. I had a tiny dog that I carried under my arm, Raymond, because he couldn't really walk very far. And our three kids, they went to a progressive private school where they called the teachers by their first name, didn't wear uniform, and didn't learn so much.

So together, Carl and I did actually do some of that. We lived in this she-she neighborhood. I had a tiny dog that I carried under my arm, Raymond, because he couldn't really walk very far. And our three kids, they went to a progressive private school where they called the teachers by their first name, didn't wear uniform, and didn't learn so much.

So together, Carl and I did actually do some of that. We lived in this she-she neighborhood. I had a tiny dog that I carried under my arm, Raymond, because he couldn't really walk very far. And our three kids, they went to a progressive private school where they called the teachers by their first name, didn't wear uniform, and didn't learn so much.

But they were happy in their early years, at least. I hadn't had this kind of education, by the way. I'd been to a state school. I'd ended up at Cambridge. I'd really been like a happy geek at school. And sometimes Carl and I wondered what we were doing, kind of pushing ourselves to such an extent to make sure that our kids went to that kind of school.