Sara Rathner

Even if it's just asking somebody like, how do you like to spend your time?

Do you like to travel?

What was your family like growing up?

Asking these sorts of questions can teach you a lot about that person without necessarily

you know, asking them to tell you how much they make in a year.

So, you know, if they have expensive hobbies, if they travel extensively, if they talk about, oh, my family's vacation houses, plural, you could get a pretty good idea of what kind of lifestyle this person lives without actually asking about money.

Yeah, I mean, we talked a little bit about this earlier, but just creating that culture of safety in talking about hard things, especially when it comes to money, but other stuff too within your relationship and give the other person space.

the level of understanding you hope that they would have with you.

We talked so much about how judgmental people are of other people when in fact they are just projecting because they're judging themselves for the same things.

So understand others as hard as you understand yourself and judge others hopefully less than you judge yourself.

How about that?

Make that your goal.

Because you're not always going to agree about money.

You're two different people.

You were raised in different households.

You have different lives and you're merging those lives together.

You're never going to totally be the same person.

You're never going to totally agree.

But if you can talk about it and come to agreements about things and negotiate and compromise, then those are all good signs for the health of your relationship.

I've never broken up with somebody because of money.