Long-Term Care Costs: Medicaid vs Private Pay, Plus Talking Money While Dating

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What are the financial dealbreakers in dating?

Elizabeth Ayoola 0:00
Sean, do you ever sit down and think about who's going to care for you when you become a senior?
Sean Pyles 0:07
I think about this, but it's often not when I'm sitting. Usually when I'm out on a nice long run, I think about what's going to happen to me in my old age. And I'm hoping that my husband will be the one caring for me, that or a robot, or maybe both.
Elizabeth Ayoola 0:18
A robot?

How can couples rebuild trust after financial infidelity?

Elizabeth Ayoola 0:19
We have to talk more about that later.
Sean Pyles 0:20
Yeah, they'll be here any day now.
Elizabeth Ayoola 0:22
I personally hope that my loved ones will take care of me, but nothing is guaranteed, you know? And for that reason, I'm stashing away as much money as I can in a high-yield savings account. Now this episode, we're gonna go more into detail about paying for senior care.
Sean Pyles 0:39
Welcome to NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast, where you send us your money questions and we answer them with the help of our genius nerds. I'm Sean Piles.
Elizabeth Ayoola 0:46
And I'm Elizabeth Ayola.

What are effective ways to talk about money early in a relationship?

Elizabeth Ayoola 0:48
During this episode, we are going to answer a listener's question about paying for senior care.
Sean Pyles 0:52
But first, it's the month of love, and we have a new study about dating deal breakers to speak with you all about. Spokesperson and credit card writer Sarah Rathner is with us to talk about the study. Hey, Sarah.
Sara Rathner 1:02
hey great to be here let's get right into it now i had fun looking through this study because there were so many juicy details and i love some relationship drama so sarah tell us what some key findings from the study were yeah one thing we found was that 17 of americans think that a partner with any amount of credit card debt would be a deal breaker and that's up from 10 last year so more people are a little bit debt averse when it comes to finding a partner but The biggest deal breaker of all in this study is lying about your finances. 54% said that is a hard pass. But on the other side, 50% of Americans in a relationship have lied about their financial situation with their current partner.

What should you consider when budgeting for senior care?

Sean Pyles 1:44
I'm wondering how much projection is going on in these answers because 17% of people wouldn't date someone with credit card debt. A lot of people have credit card debt.

How do assisted living costs vary by location?

Sean Pyles 1:55
And also a lot of people are just giving little white lies now and again about their finances. So let's have some grace, people.
Sara Rathner 2:02
Ah, rules for thee and not for me.
Sean Pyles 2:04
Yeah, exactly. So did any of the findings in the study surprise you, Sarah?
Sara Rathner 2:08
Besides how many people are flat-out liars who expect to rule with their partners? Yeah, so one thing that we found was interesting was that 32% of Americans said it's a deal-breaker if their partner lives with roommates or family members. And that totally surprised me because I spent my 20s and early 30s in a high-cost-of-living city.

What are the differences between monthly-pay and buy-in senior living models?

Sara Rathner 2:26
I lived in D.C., and most people I knew had roommates before they ended up with a significant other that they lived with. My husband had three roommates when we met, and the important thing in the story is that he had his own bathroom in his house, and he kept it clean. There you go.
Sean Pyles 2:40
Yes.
Sara Rathner 2:42
Yeah, I knew he was marriage material because I didn't have to share a bathroom with his roommates and deal with the mess.
Elizabeth Ayoola 2:46
Oh, my gosh.

How does Medicaid eligibility work for long-term care?

Elizabeth Ayoola 2:47
I'm not going to lie. In my 20s, I have dated people with roommates.

What are the final tips for families planning for senior living?

Elizabeth Ayoola 2:51
But in my 30s, it actually is a deal breaker for me because I don't want to go over and see a roommate. So I get that.
Sean Pyles 2:58
But it depends on the city you're living in, too. If someone's living in New York or L.A. or. or Atlanta, Miami, places that have high rent, you might just want to have a roommate or two so you can save more money for other things like they might be able to take you out to more dates if they're saving more money by not spending as much on rent. So I'm okay with that.
Sara Rathner 3:17
Yeah. And honestly, as long as one of you has your own place. There you go. You get some privacy sometimes.
Sean Pyles 3:24
There you go. I will say not having your own bedroom would be a deal breaker.
Elizabeth Ayoola 3:27
A hundred percent. Maybe you shouldn't be dating if you don't have your own bedroom.
Sean Pyles 3:33
Okay. So I saw a data point in the study that 18% of Americans currently in a relationship say that they've lied about purchases. Why do you think people are lying about where they're spending their money, Sarah?

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