Sarah Jakes Roberts

And so I've got to know what it is for myself.

And so I've got to know what it is for myself.

and then i also need to know what is everyone else's definition of success or power in my world whether it is what it like my husband and i perfect example my definition of what it meant to be a good wife was like dinner's on the table at six you know the house is completely clean like you wake up and the house is clean you make sure that before you go to bed you look a certain way like i had all of these different ideas of what it meant to be a good wife

and then i also need to know what is everyone else's definition of success or power in my world whether it is what it like my husband and i perfect example my definition of what it meant to be a good wife was like dinner's on the table at six you know the house is completely clean like you wake up and the house is clean you make sure that before you go to bed you look a certain way like i had all of these different ideas of what it meant to be a good wife

I never stopped to ask the person I'm actually marrying, like, what is your definition of a good wife? Not societies, not what I've seen on sitcoms. What does it mean to be Trey's wife? Because I want to be successful and powerful at being your wife.

I never stopped to ask the person I'm actually marrying, like, what is your definition of a good wife? Not societies, not what I've seen on sitcoms. What does it mean to be Trey's wife? Because I want to be successful and powerful at being your wife.

He doesn't care about dinner being on the table at 6. He's not nearly as obsessed with cleaning. He wants honesty. He wants communication. He wants loyalty. He wants joy. He wants peace. I would be up making sure the room was clean before we went to bed so that, like, if you wake up, the room is still clean. And he's like, I want you to get in the bed so I can put my head in your lap.

He doesn't care about dinner being on the table at 6. He's not nearly as obsessed with cleaning. He wants honesty. He wants communication. He wants loyalty. He wants joy. He wants peace. I would be up making sure the room was clean before we went to bed so that, like, if you wake up, the room is still clean. And he's like, I want you to get in the bed so I can put my head in your lap.

And even for someone who internalizes for my husband to value communication and honesty, sometimes I'll have like a whole dialogue going in within me and he has no idea what's happening and he wants me to speak up. So I know that part of what it means to be a powerful wife to him is me being able to verbalize what I'm thinking and what's going on in my world.

And even for someone who internalizes for my husband to value communication and honesty, sometimes I'll have like a whole dialogue going in within me and he has no idea what's happening and he wants me to speak up. So I know that part of what it means to be a powerful wife to him is me being able to verbalize what I'm thinking and what's going on in my world.

And so we are so consumed by living up to other people's expectations and other people's definition that we're robbing the people who we are in the closest proximity to of us being powerful in the roles that we play for them. Wow. What is power as a spouse? What is power as an adult child? What's power as a parent specific to the people who you are called to serve?

And so we are so consumed by living up to other people's expectations and other people's definition that we're robbing the people who we are in the closest proximity to of us being powerful in the roles that we play for them. Wow. What is power as a spouse? What is power as an adult child? What's power as a parent specific to the people who you are called to serve?

You're able to incubate what really matters and push away that which would try to make you perform into someone you're not.

You're able to incubate what really matters and push away that which would try to make you perform into someone you're not.

Probably fear of control.

Probably fear of control.

Yeah, I think so. Fear of not even necessarily controlling another person, but controlling, mitigating opportunities for hurt.

Yeah, I think so. Fear of not even necessarily controlling another person, but controlling, mitigating opportunities for hurt.

Yes, fear of being out of control. So the more that I can control myself or control them, try and control the way that this relationship works, the better off I'll be. So I have a lot of, I feel safe. Yeah, I think, yeah, at the end of the day, I think people are searching for safety and safety and control often feel like they go hand in hand.

Yes, fear of being out of control. So the more that I can control myself or control them, try and control the way that this relationship works, the better off I'll be. So I have a lot of, I feel safe. Yeah, I think, yeah, at the end of the day, I think people are searching for safety and safety and control often feel like they go hand in hand.