Sarah Kanowski

You must have been thinking, why?

Like, why such an elaborate double life?

I know, I know, I know, I was.

Because he'd never asked me for money.

I didn't understand.

If he didn't love me, why didn't he just go to this other woman?

And she'd been there from the first day of our relationship.

She was never not there.

Well, this is one of the great blackly humorous moments in retrospect that I sat about two desks away from the wonderful Kate McClymott.

the Sydney Morning Herald's wonderful, extraordinary investigative journalist who brought down the New South Wales government, who saw Eddie Obeid into jail.

And Kate is wonderful.

She was at the launch of my book last night.

And I also sat near another investigative journalist, Anne Davies, another wonderful investigative journalist and a good friend of mine.

And during the relationship, Anne had said to me, come on, we've got to do some searches on him.

And I'd Googled him during the relationship and I'd established certain things were true about his stories.

But I knew the searches that Anne meant and they were things like title deed searches and bankruptcy searches.

And I pushed myself on my chair back to my desk and I said, no, this is a love story.

I'm not being a journalist here.

This is a love story.

I can't do that.