Sarah Kanowski

I've tried.

And I stepped back and then on early February I stopped talking to Han.

And then she sends me a message about a CrossFit comp.

You know, I hadn't replied to a couple of messages.

And then she sent me this one about a CrossFit comp because we'd competed together a lot.

And she goes, I'm just going to leave this here.

It's like an insinuation, like when you're ready, let's talk again.

And a couple of days later, she apologized for sending the message.

And she said, I'm sorry, I just missed my friend.

And I just sat.

I sat with my phone in my hand for the next week thinking, just call her from a private number, you know, send her a message and just say, we'll, you know, I'll chat again soon.

Because I was just so afraid that if I send one message or if I make one phone call, he'll know and then it'll just get worse for her and she needs this space so her life can be better.

And then on the 19th of February, it all got worse.

I never thought that could happen.

I never... I mean, as I look back...

With where I'm at now, I could have predicted it every day, you know?

But where I was at at the time was there's no way someone that I once chose as a friend could ever do something like that.

And there's no way I could ever lose someone like that.

So I just never thought it was possible.

What I was trying to stop was her, like, every time...